Sunday, March 28, 2010

48:00 Behind the Planet of the Apes ... and Completion of EPOTA

Roddy McDowall takes us through the end of the POTA stuff ... Showing us everything we've seen or slept through in the last 48 hours.  Great ending for the onslaught.


***

I'll write much more than this in the next day or so but for now let me say it's been interesting ... Better than 24HoTV2, maybe equal to 24HoTV1 ... I've enjoyed the streaming ... The UPA boxset has been *great*.

Many thanks to the EPOTA hardcores: Momma K, Lil' Person K, the Grumbler, Radioactive Dave, suttonhoo, solid G, the person who shall never be mentioned and especially Rich Handley

Special K, I've told you I love you more than any other man in the world, including all my relatives combined.  Never wonder why.

***

Special K adds:

It was ... it was ... it was ... beyond my greatest imagining of ... um ... fun and strangeness ... and I uh, wanna thank you, but I need to do that myself.

48:00 It's over

I thank the crazed mind with attached body that thought this up: B1-66er. I might have dreamed up 24 hours of TV, but without him, it would have just been an idea, like pretty much everything else I think up. And I never could have imagined 48 hours of Planet of the Apes. No indeed. He is the Mort Abrahams to my Arthur P. Jacobs, or something like that. Thanks, B1.

Let's do it again super soon. But not tomorrow.

47:40 Behind the Planet of the Apes documentary

"We couldn't afford makeup for the mutants, so we just took everyone's skin off."

Hasslein is back. HASSLEIN!!! You dirty dog!

PotA movies always have unhappy endings.

Natalie Trundy did not want to play an ape, because she is smart.

Conquest was filmed at Century City, which was on land formerly owned by Fox. I'm guessing that's where the "Century" comes from.

Super super lame redoing of the end of Conquest. Not only is it worse, but they DIDN'T EVEN REFILM RODDY. They just recorded new dialog and COVERED UP HIS MOUTH.

When Arthur P. Jacobs died after Battle was made, he was one year older than I am now. Wow.

I made that part up about taking off the skin.

I believe that sleep deprivation is good for creativity. Thank you, and good day.

observation of the moment

In certain circumstances, Special K is almost indiscernable from Ricardo Montalban.  I think that happens primarily when he's had six hours of sleep in 48.

47:20 Behind the Planet of the Apes

The making-of doc continues to be great ... and the one thing I know for certain, Frank Capra, Jr. knows all about how to do #2.

quote of the moment

"if an ape talks, a woman faints."

-- special K

EPOTA Hits the 48 Hour Mark

Running crippled, but at full-speed.

47:00 Behind the Planet of the Apes documentary

As B1 said, we saved this doc for last because we thought it would be cool, and we did right. Only problem is that we've already seen some of this stuff in previous extras.

The people in ape makeup had a helluva time eating lunch. And it was super hot in there.

The trial scene most reflected the work of screenwriter Michael Wilson, who had been blacklisted. (Google it, kids. It was bad.)

Producer Mort Abrahams said they were making a political movie (obviously), right after Fox studio head Dick Zanuck said he's sure it was just pure entertainment. They put one over on you, Dick.

We started this thing 48 hours ago. It seems like only yesterday yesterday.

46:40 Beneath the Planet of the Apes

The documentary is super-great and I'm so-so glad we chose it for the final item ... We're getting tons of great trivia and behind-the-scenes shots ...

For the first time in EPOTA we have some discussion in the streaming room

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/roomzo

suttonhoo and solid G are both there.

special K ...

... is super-crispy ... but LOVING "behind the planet of the apes."

46:20 Behind the Planet of the Apes documentary

Arthur Jacobs prepared a 130-page merchandising book for PotA before it was greenlit. Anybody know where that book is now?

Rod Serling wrote 30 drafts of the script in his attempt to get it right.

They wanted to do a modern ape society, but they were worried about affording it, so they changed the apes to primitive. Damn money!

The hike across the desert after the spaceship crash was in a location so remote that some equipment was brought in by mule team.

The waterfall where the astronauts swim is fed by "two dozen carefully hidden firehoses".

46:00 Jerry Goldsmith Commentary "Planet of the Apes" -- "Behind the Planet of the Apes"

Jerry, you're a sound guy.  It's fine to have quiet moments in music, but not in film commentary.  talk, goddammit.

just starting "behind the planet of the apes."  the K and i are really up for the last installment of UPA.  you should be too.

we're beginning the last item being viewed ...

... in EPOTA.  "behind the planet of the apes." 

streaming on http://www.ustream.tv/channel/roomzo

quote of the moment

"the forebidden zone was once a paradise.  your breed made a desert of it ages ago."

-- dr. zaius

Ultimate Planet of the Apes unboxing photos

45:40 Planet of the Apes -- Jerry Goldsmith commentary

Yet another disappointing commentary. I wanted more talk about the orchestration, instrumentation, et al. No.

Jerry, I still love your music.

I hope watching Planet of the Apes movies for 48 hours doesn't turn out to be some form of mind control.

quote of the moment

"this one uses a lot of the bass slide whistle."

-- jerry goldsmith

45:20 Planet of the Apes - Jerry Goldsmith Commentary

Mr. Goldsmith spends 10 minutes trashing modern film ... and then says "i don't want to put down modern filmmaking."

oh yes you do.

45:00 Planet of the Apes -- Jerry Goldsmith commentary

Jerry points out that when they "give" Nova to Taylor in the cage, the movie's "love theme" plays on the score.

And Jerry has gone out for a latte.

44:40 Planet of the Apes -- Jerry Goldsmith commentary

A l-o-n-g gap in the commentary made us think that maybe things weren't working quite right (we like to watch commentary with subtitles and thought that maybe it'd killed the stream -- they should add an undertone or a "no commentary for N minutes" to keep the over-driven and under-worked like the K and i from freaking out).

Mr. Goldsmith's comments are good but too far between.  If I'd known you were gonna say this little, I would've put you on instead of Mr. Elfman when I was sleeping.

44:20 Planet of the Apes - Jerry Goldsmith Commentary

Jerry reminds us that there were essentially no special effects in this movie, so everything you see is done with the camera. And that's why the score is so great.

Jerry needs to TALK MORE.

the mac crashed ...

running the ustream source.  we're re-booting it.

44:00 Planet of the Apes - Text and Jerry Goldsmith Commentary

The text commentary had some great trivia -- especially the Felix Silla tidbit.

The Jerry Goldsmith commentary is just starting.  Too early to have an opinion.

(This begins EPOTA's last full viewing of POTA.)

quote of the moment

"what's the name of that thing that i can't remember?"

-- special K

the other, other official drink ...

... of EPOTA

43:40 Planet of the Apes - Text Commentary

Much of this commentary points out how the filmmakers knew what they had: lots of sensitive and political stuff hidden in science fiction because it's apes and humans instead of different races, etc.

Is Pierre Boulle's the only name that appears in the credits of all 6 Ape films, the TV show, and the cartoon series? I think so.

Taylor, who hates humanity, ends up as its last defender.

chocolate caramel matzah and boiled peanuts ...

... the official foods of EPOTA.

43:20 Planet of the Apes - Text Commentary

I actually haven't been reading the commentary because I've been catching up on my email and watching the movie occasionally.

But I will take this opportunity to tell Special K how much I love him.

quote of the moment

"it is scientific heresy that is being tried here."

-- dr. zaius

43:00 Planet of the Apes - Eric Greene Text Commentary

John Chambers, who created the ape makeup, also did Spock's ears. Chambers won a special oscar for makeup for this movie.

The first scene in the movie, Taylor talking on the ship's bridge, was the last one filmed.

Sammy Davis thought PotA was the best film ever about race relations, and he got one of the big Lawgiver statues to put in his backyard.

GIANT REVEAL! Felix Silla plays the little kid who says "Look, a man!" when Taylor is escaping. Silla also played Cousin Itt on the Addams Family. WHOA.

42:40 Planet of the Apes - Text Commentary

This is actually an interesting way to watch a commentary ... How/why it got here is a mystery to me, but I'm guessing this guy wrote a book that they've sliced and diced into pieces.

I'm back in the game and will be awake for the remainder of the EPOTA.

42:20 Planet of the Apes -- Eric Greene commentary

Eric Greene wrote "Planet of the Apes as American Myth" and his text is turned into a commentary track on the original film. Seems like they could have hired an actor to read it, but no. It goes by really fast, so make sure your reading skills are up to par.

Things we learn:

- Arthur Jacobs bought the rights to Planet of the Apes before its publication in English. It started out in French.
- Charlton Heston said beards should grow in suspended animation. But nobody thought about hair growing.
- The budget for the makeup test scene was about $7000.

41:50 Planet of the Apes (2001) -- enhanced

We like much of the ape behavior in this version: fighting with their whole arms, running on all fours. But the super high jumping looks too crazy.

The dust in the movie just apparently made me cough. Now that's a good effect.

Sculptor dude is talking about how they made Ape-raham Lincoln.

The final shot of the movie, when 10 zillion cops are closing in on Mark Wahlberg, is known as the "You are so busted" shot.

And we bid farewell to the land of Burton.

41:20 Planet of the Apes (2001) -- enhanced

More enhanced mode with infrequent enhancements. There hasn't been one for awhile.

I don't think I'd heard of Estella Warren before. Now I've seen a lot of her on Google Image Search.

The apes can run really fast on four legs because they're actually on moving sidewalks when being filmed.

41:00 Planet of the Apes (2001) -- enhanced

Enhanced mode pretty much sucks. Nothing ever happens.

We learn that the place where Thade lives with his father (played prone by Charlton Heston) is called "Chuck's house".

"Not many people do have relationships with chimpanzees." -- Helena Bonham Carter

"Tim decided that there had to be one moment in the movie where an ape went apeshit."

40:40 Planet of the Apes (2001) -- enhanced

I'm not sure we've had any enhanced features in the last 20 minutes ... I'm hatin' on this enhanced thing ...

I also realized last night that I would like this movie a lot better if it didn't have a POTA name, nor any kind of relationship to the franchise.

40:20 Planet of the Apes (2001) -- enhanced

The computer graphics they're showing are now 10 years old. They look ancient. I think the CG guy is using an SGI workstation.

Enhanced mode features show how smart film nerds do things like make the hair dryer spacecraft crash and set things on fire without burning up Marky Mark.

I like almost every movie better on repeat watching. Maybe that's because it has then become my friend.

Tim Roth absolutely consumes his part as the chimp Thade. He might as well live as a chimp for the rest of his life. The few times I saw him prior, I didn't notice evidence of that kind of acting.

40:00 Planet of the Apes (2001) -- enhanced

I've never played with enhanced viewing before but it leaves a lot to be desired.  Here's some problems with it:

1. You can't have captions and enhanced mode going at the same time.  Problematic because forced screen animation comes over the top.

2. You need to hit the remote for some enhanced items.  They should just drop you into all of this stuff automatically -- you did, after all, choose enhanced mode.

3. Once you're done, you get jumped back before the appearance of your remote cue prompt.  That makes you more likely to choose it again.

So far, the features are good, but the experince of getting to them is lacking.

39:40 "Don Taylor directs 'Escape from the Planet of the Apes'" et al

We're down to the dregs of features on the original movie (except for Behind the Planet of the Apes, which we're saving for later). And who better to eat every crumb than me.

Don Taylor directs Escape. It's the same clip of Armando's Circus that we've already seen like 3 times. Lech Walesa is there as assistant director. Don has an animated discussion with Ricardo Montalban. Nobody says "Khan!" Nobody says "The plane! The plane!" except me.

Question: when they decided to have another sequel after destroying the earth, did they tell Paul Frees? DID THEY????

J. Lee Thompson directs Conquest. Pretty quick little piece here.

Costume sketches. Buncha stills. Whoa, topless human women! Filmmakers wanted that. Fat chance.

Still gallery. Charlton Heston playing Frisbee on the beach in his loincloth.

(hidden feature) Action figures: Taylor, Zaius, soldiers. Japanese windup toys.

Ape collections. More costumes, mostly.

Movie posters. In different languages. Bully.

(hidden feature): TV commercial for action figures. By Mego. "Oh no! I'm trapped by the apes!" Music is "Also Sprach Zarathustra", as in 2001: A Space Odyssey, but not that performance, because then they'd have to pay a royalty.

39:35 hidden chimp commentary of 2001 POTA

if you go into the commentaries of the 2001 POTA, there's a hidden chimp feature that has only the test chimp speaking in chimp-lish when he appears and fast-forwarding through the rest of the movie.

very funny and better than spike lee's review of bamboozled.

39:10 "planet of the apes featurette" "a look behind the POTA"

starting to see repeats of earlier stuff ...

the odd thing here is in look the announcer says there'll be three more films while showing scenes from conquest ... but from conquest there are only two films. 

hmm.

39:00 "1967 N.A.T.O. presentation"

This piece is listed on the DVD as "1967 N.A.T.O. presentation". So B1 and I are watching, waiting eagerly to learn how world leaders in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization could use Planet of the Apes to bring peace to the middle east.

We're watching. It seems to be a condensed version of the movie. Oh fun, there are a few cut scenes and some cut dialog.

Pretty much the first 75% of the movie is presented in about 8 minutes. Still nothing about world peace. We're wondering what the hell is going on.

Then Henson speaks out of character to the audience about the movie. Introduces the actors. Shows them in ape makeup and normal. He finishes by saying the movie will be "entertaining and exploitable". The end.

What the hell?

We check again to see how this was billed: "1967 N.A.T.O. presentation". Then it hits me. N.A.T.O. = National Association of Theatre Owners.

We laugh and laugh.

With 6 hours of sleep in the last 2 days, I impress myself by being able to come up with this. I am easily impressed.

quote of the moment

"We think this will all add up to an extertaining and exploitable film."

-- Charleton Heston

38:40 "Dailies and Outtakes"

All silent dailies and outtakes from the original POTA with no sound.  Interesting stuff but the thing you really take away from it is that Charleton Heston got the crap beat out of him while filming this movie.  Whip his neck.  Drop a net on him.  Drag him down the stairs.  Wear a red robe between shots.

Thanks for all that, Chuck.

38:20 Roddy McDowall's home movies

AWESOME artifact. Roddy runs around with a state-of-the-art handheld home movie camera and films various goings-on.

Ape actors had to use cigarette holders to smoke.

There's a great sequence of John Chambers putting Roddy's facial appliance on, with pauses to see it partially applied. Roddy's mugging and demoing what he can do with the makeup.

Then there's film of Roddy being helicoptered to the set.

Chuck Heston from behind wearing nothing but his tiny underthing.

Lots and lots of fun shots of cast and crew sitting around between takes.

Zira gets a shpritz of hairspray.

Super duper excellent fun piece to watch.

37:55 EG Robinson Make-up Test from POTA

WOW. 

A mini-featurette with a series of DisneyLand-like paintings telling the story of POTA up to a culminating scene with Dr. Zaius and Taylor.  Zaius is played by Edward G. Robinson.

This scenario was written by Rod Serling in an attempt by the studio/company to show proof-of-concept.

The story is close to the scene with Zaius and Heston in the court.  Robinson's acting is surprisingly good (he doesn't strike me as a Zaius, really).  Heston feels very African-explorer.

James Brolin and Linda Harrison (who would play Nova) show up as apes to move the plot-line along with the same prop doll from the end of POTA -- looking suspiciously zombie-like.

The acting is full-on, not half-assed.  The entire production works well as a 1-act.

And perhaps the best thing of all ... PAUL FREES DOES THE VOICEOVER.

So very great that we're able to see something like this.

{Special K is still reeling.}

37:40 Planet of the Apes - Actor Commentary

"Today they can use all kind of electric whatchamacalls with a battery and get animation. Or they can use a computer." -- John Chambers on modern makeup technology.

Roddy says Frank Schaffner, the director, was a lovely man. And I believe him.

Trivium of the Moment

Casting directors for the original POTA selected all ape characters as short people and all human characters as tall people to help differentiate obvious differences between the two species on film.

37:20 Planet of the Apes - Actor Commentary

Uneven commentary here that's been spliced from several independent interviews ... Not like that's a bad thing, since I just woke up after a couple of hours of sleep and am weaving in-and-out of consciousness.

Still, you've gotta love waking up to Charleton Heston and foam houses and Special K hammers away on his laptop.


Oh and here's a guess ... "Why is it called the 'Forbidden Zone?'"  How about, "Because it's forbidden to go there"?

37:00 Planet of the Apes - actor commentary

Here's how bad this commentary is: it's the 18th-worst commentary track of all time on ratethatcommentary.com. Apparently it's made up of edited, separate interviews of the four. A comments from that site:

"Absolutely terrible. Consisting of snippits from interviews with the longest gaps in between. Will eventually drive you insane."

But we soldier on.

"I finally gave up eating altogether". -- Kim Hunter on the difficulty of eating while wearing the ape makeup.

Heston really takes a beating in this movie. Muzzled, netted, watercannoned, whipped, choked, stoned, and physically beat down. That's gotta hurt, even if you are Moses.

During the chase scene, right before and during the museum sequence, you can hear an ape ooking as part of the score.

McDowall says he was able to sleep during the hours-long makeup application process.

36:40 Planet of the Apes - actor commentary

This commentary officially sucks. Our commentary foursome hasn't said a word for more than 30 minutes. What a ripoff! I'm glad I didn't pay for 3D.

One of the reasons this movie works so well is the near-perfect progression of disclosure:

- We're on a planet. It looks barren.
- There's a weed.
- There's plenty of vegetation.
- There are people.
- There's food.
- There are hunters.
- The hunters are APES.
- The apes can TALK.
- The talking apes have a CITY.

All done with a nice script and great direction.

At last, some commentary. "We chimps were a little jealous of the orangutans because they didn't have to wear (appliance) ears." -- Kim Hunter

36:20 Planet of the Apes - actor commentary

We now resume our normal broadcast day.

I like DVD commentaries but I rarely make time to listen to them. This one seems strangely disjointed. I don't think all 4 participants are in the room at the same time. And they don't talk all that much.

We learn that Roddy McDowall called Heston "Charlie Hero". We can only imagine what Heston called Roddy.

Program Note

We're now starting the original Planet of the Apes, commentary by Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Natalie Trundy, and makeup artist John Chambers. B1-66er is still out for now.

And my captcha for this post is hoozoopi.

34:50 Planet of the Apes (2001) - Elfman Commentary

I just woke up, and it was one of those panic wakeups where you have a not-so-vague sense that something is wrong, but your brain hasn't started up enough yet to help you figure out what it is. Once I realized that there was no immediate threat to my life and I recalled what I was doing here, the last bit of the panic was wondering where the hell B1-66er was. I couldn't see him, but then I heard a gentle snoring. Grabbed my glasses and I saw him, not 4 feet away, stretched out on the couch sleeping. Without my glasses, he was invisible. I think it's a Jedi mind trick of the dark.

Reaction to being asleep for 5 hours: first disbelief, then denial, then gratitude. I needed that. It's bizarre that I hardly slept before that.

So now I'm listening to Danny Elfman talk about how he writes a score. He never writes down early ideas, because they never come to fruition. He doesn't have formal music training, so he needs a keyboard or guitar in order to work. He was on a plane from London in the middle of the night when the Batman score came to him, and he had no instrument, and everybody was asleep, so he had to keep going to the bathroom and making "verbal notes to himself". Yes, he's talking about the Batman score on the PotA commentary.

"At the end of it I may be a writhing torso without a face, but I will survive." -- Danny Elfman on the scoring process.

There's a weird chilly draft in the house just now. It's absolutely pitch dark outside and only Danny Elfman is talking. Only Caesar is illuminated. Charlton Heston is dying in an ape costume on the TV. My dog is passed out next to me. I'm having a short dark DVD commentary of the soul.

Soon it will be light out, and that will feel good.

My Cheater EPOTA Trick

You can ignore Special K's little posting from an hour ago ... He wasn't really awake (and I'll bet he doesn't remember posting that, either) ...

So this is a combo note to you, dear reader, and to Special K.

The second "special" disc of Burton's POTA is done (I've seen all the video on there).  BUT, I also need a nap AND Special K has been asleep for five hours ... If I just fall asleep now, we're both asleep simultaneously during 24HOTV which is not only a first, but also keeps us from finishing UPA in a more timely manner ...

My answer is I've just put on the Danny Elfman commentary for the Burton POTA.  It'll run for two hours.  I already know from ahead-of-time research that it's pretty bad (I think there's just not very much of it), so if I fall asleep while it's on, it's not that big of a deal.

I seriously doubt I'll sleep through the whole commentary, but if I do, I'm nearly certain Special K will wake up ... he'll read this posting ... and then he can select stuff to continue pushing EPOTA forward.

Cheater?  Yes.  But also still well within the rules -- we don't have to be awake for all of any 24HOTV event ... it just so happens that we're both asleep for a bit this time.

We'll see how it goes.

Oh, and welcome back, Special K.  As I type this, you're snoring and your goofy little dog is barking in its sleep.

33:35 "HBO Special -- The Making of the Planet of the Apes"

A piece that feels somewhat fluffy compared to the other hardcore stuff on this disc ... a lot of repetition of other things i've already seen.

33:05 "Swinging from the Trees"

A lot of wire work, including the crazy "quadrapedding" (running on your hands and feet simultaneously).

32:55 "On Location, Lake Powell"

The take-away trivium from this one is they actually used propane heating on a large outdoor pond (the one where Marky Mark carries Helena Bonham-Carter on his back).

32:35 "Chimp Symphony, Op. 37"

An orchestra with Danny Elfman working on the same sound stage where the first POTA score was also done.  Technical and interesting.

(He always does his own synthesizers and percussion.)

32:45 Costume Test

Various Burton Apes talking and yelling. Bully for them. The makeup is so much better in this movie, it's incredible.

I'm back from visiting Morpheus. No heavy machinery right now please.

32:30 "Make-Up Tests," "Costume Tests," "Group Tests," "Stunt Tests," "Movement Tests"

Huge assortment of visual look-and-feel and behind-the-scenes tests, many with sound.  All of the tests listed here are in a 4x4 arrangement -- each one giving you a choice of the soundtrack you'd like to hear ... really nice use of some of the multi-track capabilities on DVD.

One, make-up test, in particular, has a gorilla reciting a piece of poetry that is truly striking.  The other stand-out is a Rasta Helena Bonham Carter.

31:35 "Face Like a Monkey" -- Disc 14 UPA

A half-hour extra about how the ape make-up would work.

A big hint: you want people with small noses and long upper lips.

It looks unbelievably claustrophobic as they work up the casts.

On the primary masks, every hair is laid individually.

"A lot of rubber.  A lot of hair.  A lot of dental acrylic."

The most sophisticated modern make-ups for this movie take about four hours to apply and one hour to remove.

31:05 "Simian Academy"

25 minute movie on the burton specials disc (disc 14)

Lots of shots of chimps putting their thumbs up as they get closed into a capsule.  A real, real good example of why you'd never want to become a chimp trainer.

The shots of the apes drilling for the final battle look great and like fun/hard work.

The top guy who'll train you to be like an ape really seems like a guy who'd be a world class penis and you'd never want to know.

30:20 Planet of the Apes (2001) - Burton Commentary

Mr. Burton has spent a great deal of time in the last 20 minutes talking about how much Japanese film -especially samarai movies- have influenced this movie ... especially from the aspect of motion.

30:00 Planet of the Apes (2001) - Burton Commentary

Even though HT puts this in the 51st century, Tim Burton thinks of this movie as pre-dating the original POTA.

29:40 Planet of the Apes (2001) - Burton Commentary

The thing that strikes me the most when listening to Mr. Burton here is how normal he seems on the whole ... His movies and vision are fairly whacked (this POTA is less-so I think), but he comes across as a fairly normal guy.

He's against film revisions (ala Star Wars updates).  RIGHT.

special k is trying to nap ...

... if he can "get there."

oh, he'll get there all right.  sleep tight, special K.  you've been an animal to this point.

quote of the moment

"Spirituality is a feeling, it's not something spoken as a zombie."

-- Tim Burton

quote of the moment

"we tried to design the city so it was both horizontal and vertical."

-- tim burton

29:20 Planet of the Apes (2001) - Burton Commentary

Tim Burton is probably not the best commentary guy. He strikes me as someone who communicates best by making a movie rather than explaining by speaking to you. He's fun to listen to but sometimes I have no idea what he meant or if what he said was insightful.

"Orangutans have always been kind of perverted to me." --Tim Burton

Tim Roth is super apey and amazing in this movie.

quote of the moment

"my favorite versions of all my movies are dubbed."

-- tim burton

Saturday, March 27, 2010

All Features of UPA Are Done

The next several hours will be working our way through the extras in the boxset.

29:00 Planet of the Apes (2001) - Burton Commentary

We're watching all of UPA, so for about the next 18 hours or so we'll be watching extras ...

First up is Tim Burton's commentary on his version of POTA -- mainly because I didn't feel like switching the disc ...

I like to watch commentaries with the captions on because often times directors will refer to lines being uttered on the screen, but you can't hear them because the director is talking over the top of it.

Commentaries are telling.  Sometimes excellent, sometimes unbelievably lame (Spike Lee's commentary on Bamboozled was so poor that I actually turned completely against him and no longer watch his films).

There are a bit more gaps in his commentary than I like, but the quality is good here ... He's spending a lot of time talking about how important he felt it was that his POTA not be a re-make and have a circular story line.

He just made reference to the flying monkeys attacking in the Wizard of Oz.  I was going to mention that the opening had reminded me of that earlier, but was too tired to remember to write it down.

quote of the moment

"as far as fear factor goes, i'd put apes right up there with clowns and santa claus."

-- tim burton

quote of the moment

"it's ape-raham lincoln."

-- special K

28:40 Planet of the Apes (2001) 5021HT

I'm not good at figuring out movie twists, but I feel like if I were more awake I would have figured out the Simos thing.

I don't think this was as bad as I had been told. I'll probably like it even better the next time. Which will be pretty soon.

And there's the statue of Ape-raham Lincoln! Ta-daa!

28:20 Planet of the Apes (2001) 5021HT

Full on war.

Apes vs. Humans with some Apes.  Gun fu, power pack fu, crazy ape mania.

'Ploding apes, bleeding apes, head twisted humans.
Old space ships, new space ships, lotsa places needin' broomin's.
Apes in cages, people in sand dunes and a fair amount of flying on wires.
Rusted iron, no visible water, no cars with spare tires.

28:00 Planet of the Apes (2001) 5021HT

After 40 years of one PotA canon, it's hard to jump into a rebooted universe, but I'm getting there. In the movie so far I think we're simply racing to the Forbidden Area to find where Davidson's signal is pointing. And we've pretty much sorted out who Tim Roth, Paul Giamatti, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Helena Bonham Michael Jackson Carter are. So it's getting more interesting.

And now we find that his ship, the Oberon, has crashed on the planet. So possible time travel fun and so on!

The Chuck Heston cameo was pretty good.

I still don't get why the humans can talk and are smart but try not to talk and are dominated. Maybe they just suck.

27:40 Planet of the Apes (2001) 5021HT

{Oops, I had the wrong cameo before.  Charleton Heston was the old guy that just died saying, "Damn them, damn them all to hell."}

What this whole movie feels like to me is a huge set design by the guy that does all the "House of Blues" nightclubs.

I'm pretty tired.

quote of the moment

"it's not sourcery, it's science."

-- captain davidson

27:20 Planet of the Apes (2001) 5021HT

Dynamic range on modern DVDs is actually a problem when you're in a less-than-perfect acoustic environment. It's hard to hear Helena Bonham Carter or the hissing ape dude when they're acting very quietly.

An early impression is that there are a lot of characters to keep track of. This might be a reflection of my tiredness. But it might also be true.

It's amazing how much better the makeup got in 30 years. But the acting did not get better.

Things the spaceship looks like:

- a whistle
- a hair dryer
- the wings on the Golden Age Flash's helmet

Ape City reminds of elf villages in Lord of the Rings.

I'm a little confused, and my firewall of not-tired is slipping. Good thing I'll have 3 more chances to figure it out.

Nice pointy red hats on the chaser apes.

27:00 Planet of the Apes (2001) 5021HT

Tim Burton is responsible for this remake that we'll send up seeing at least four times ... The very first thing you should ask yourself is: What has Tim Burton done and what has he done well?

Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Big Fish
Ed Wood
Edward Scissorhands
Alice in Wonderland

You get the idea.

And the very first thing that should hit you is knowing that all those stories, and certainly his best ones, are freakball stories.  They're crazy little Burton worlds, or worlds where Burton can completely take over, and POTA isn't one of them.

And casting Marky Mark Wahlberg (an actor I like quite a bit) as a lead, is a mistake.

What have we here?

Space pods that look like mouth pieces for recorders.  Helena Bonham Carter looking like Michael Jackson.  And Tim Roth deadpanning.

We also get a cameo of Charleton Heston saying "take your hands off me, you damn dirty, human" as an ape.

May the Law Giver save us all.

How we know we're in 5021

From "Timeline of the Planet of the Apes":

"The film's 5021 setting, established in Dark Horse's comic book adaptation, contradicts a statement made by novelist William T. Quick in a Simian Scrolls interview, indicating his Apes spinoff novels (set in the early 21st century) take place a thousand years before the movie. I have adhered to Dark Horse's dating since "onscreen" evidence would seem to outweigh information derived from an interview."

26:40 "Planet of the Apes (2001)" 2029HT

Here comes Burton. I've never seen it, and my expectations have been lowered. So we'll see.

A little monkey is flying a simulator.

26:30 "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" 3979HT

When I was a kid, people would become mutants from POTA by putting super-elastic bubble-plastic on their faces ... it worked remarkably well.

And here we end the original five flicks.  Paul Frees narrates the end of the world, Special K freaks out and then there is no sound over the credits. 

I appreciate that Charleton throws the switch, but damn they kill a lot of good people at the end.

One more flick and we've seen all the "features" of UPA.  The rest is 24 hours of dribbly gravy.

we're back in business

earth hour has ended in the PT.

EPOTA is honoring earth hour

we will have no postings, transmissions, nor viewings for the next hour, save caesar and a candle on ustream.

back in 1.

26:00 "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" 3979HT

Our heroes are in Queensboro Plaza MTA station. They're about to take the 7 train to Mutantville. And it's an express.

They walk from Queens to the NYSE to Radio City and points beyond. I will offer/retcon that the bomb just blew everything all together.

"I reveal my inmost self unto my god". At 10 years old, I didn't get why a bomb could be god. But I figured it out eventually.

There's Gregory Sierra, later so much fun in Barney Miller.

It starts to get wonderfully weird when the mutants telepathically interrogate Brent while scenes from his memories play out in black and white behind him.

There's Natalie Trundy, who plays 3 different roles in 4 PotA movies. It's almost like she knew somebody. :) (She was married to producer Arthur P. Jacobs).

thought of the moment

if i were a fountain, i would squirt when nova walked by.

25:40 "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" 3979HT

This movie always feels so weak to me after Planet.  The protests feel really dated because the release was right at the very height of the Viet Nam War.

Mutants haven't shown up yet -- things get stranger then.

conversation of the order

dr. zaius: "there's a time for truth."

zira: "and the time is always now."

25:20 Planet of the Apes 3979HT

Heston's laundry bill for the first two movies: pretty much zero.

Nice Forbidden Zone effects: flames, cracks in the earth, Taylor vanishing into thin air.

Much more on the antiwar theme this time.

Cornelius does NOT begin as a heroic figure at the war rally. Wimp.

We're all loving that Zira can't really tell the difference between Brent and Taylor. After all, all humans look alike to her.

Apparently Cornelius hitting his wife was essentially OK in 1970, at least in a movie.

25:00 "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" 3979HT

Special K calls this movie, "93 minutes to Paul Frees."

James Franciscus is doing his best Charleton Heston impersonation ... and Chuck?  We won't see him again until the 'ploding of the world at the end.

Beautiful opening Panascope shot and then a fair amount of delay until we get to the Forebidden Zone weirdness ... and it's right there that I get cut off for my 19:00 deadline.

93 minutes...

...until Paul Frees.

24:40 Planet of the Apes 3979HT

Why is it called the Forbidden Zone? No one knows. That's never a good reason.

I love how Cornelius and Zira know all along that they have to follow the truth as evidenced by Taylor, but Zaius struggles stubbornly with his religion vs. science and deciding what to do. And in the end, he'll be a prick (I have a feeling).

Taylor is a GREAT SHOT with that rifle.

Whenever anybody says Dr. Zaius, we usually lapse into "Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius", to the tune of "Rock Me, Amadeus".

Linda Harrison was 21 or 22 when this was filmed.

If Edward G. Robinson had been Zaius, his dialog would have had to be different. This wouldn't have worked for him.

And the big, big, BIG finish. "We finally really did it."

quote of the moment

"only an apostate would flee to the forebidden zone."

-- dr. zaius

24:20 Planet of the Apes 3979HT

A word for Dr. Zaius. 

Cornelius, Zira and Heston get all the attention in this movie, but Maurice Evans's role as Dr. Zais is superlative.  He's full of disdain, disgust and self-assured conceit -- perfect and very close to the orangutan characters in Monkey World.

Edward G. Robinson passed on the movie because he found the make-up constructive and troubling -- we'll see a make-up test with him in it sometime tomorrow ... But I've gotta think that he wouldn't have been as good as Evans is here.

Full marks.

quote of the moment

"i admit that when there is one mutant there is usually another and another and another ... a whole nest of them."

-- dr. zaius

EPOTA is at the Halfway Mark ...

... another 24 hours to go.

24:00 Planet of the Apes 3979HT

This movie capitalizes on the ability of science fiction to address controversial issues. It manages to be about war & anti-war, racism, religion vs. science, and probably one or two others I can't spot or think of right now.

Taylor's brief escape romp manages to show off the superb ape city sets. And it ends in Taylor's classic "damn dirty ape" line. In most PotA movies there's a wonderful moment when the supposedly mute ape or man first speaks. This is the best of them all.

IT'S A MADHOUSE! A MADHOUSE!

It's the tribunal scene. They take away Taylor's clothes and his dignity. Kim and Roddy do a good job of not staring at his ass.

We're 24 hours in and fresh as dead daisies.

23:40 Planet of the Apes 3979HT

Here we are at last.  All pre-amble has led to this moment ... Sequels, cartoons and TV shows ... Bad one liners, terrible writing and teasers of what's actually in this film.

But this is the moment ... and it's great.  Beautiful, clean print.  All the original stone-age places (that we were teased with in the series).  Heston being even more Heston than usual.

Shootings, death and experimentation.

Scarecrows, torture and trappings.

And all rated "G" in the 60's.

Love it, love it, love it.  Absolutely love it.

23:20 Planet of the Apes 3979HT

This movie is locked so deeply in my subconscious that it might as well be the alphabet. It's probably the first movie I ever asked my parents to take me to. Every scene, note of Jerry Goldsmith's wonderful score, and line of dialog is familiar and foundational to my growth as a nerd. This is an awesome treat for me.

Charlton Heston as Taylor is so wonderfully snotty. Moses as a disgruntled astronaut.

Schaffner, the director, wanted to use the opening sequences (including the music) to establish the alien landscape. It helps set up, y'know, the ending.

And here it comes: Heston's only nude scene ever.

23:00 Planet of the Apes 3979HT

YES!!! At last!!

Planet of the Apes. Bring it on.

22:35 "Battle of the Titans" (Cartoon) 3979HT

Once you get used to the crappy graphics of the cartoon, there's some pretty good stuff about it all:

* It's super politically correct.  There's attention to race, diet and sex diversity.

* They actually pay attention to what previous episodes have done ... Something that the TV series doesn't do, FOR EXAMPLE.

* It actually made Special K exclaim out-loud.

If you're being force-fed a cartoon (and we defintely are), you could do worse.


As Cornelius says, "The time has come to bring it."

quote of the moment

"zira and cornelius are the prius driving apes."

-- Solid G

22:15 "Invasion of the Underdwellers" 3979HT

"Underdwellers" is a big word to ask me to pronounce at this time.

I have tried to defend this series, but "William Apespeare" and the "Apea Lisa" are indefensible. We're talking criminal negligence.

When they say "Urko" it sounds an awful lot like "Urkel". Which is fun to think about.

The orangutans have bright pink faces in this episode. I guess there comes a time when you just don't care any more. (Not me, the creators.)

Something else. Something. Apes. One more to go.

Big Announcement from Special K

If he had the wall plan for Ape City as shown in the cartoon, he'd pull down his New York City subway map in his living room.

21:50 "Mission of Mercy" 3979HT

Okay.

Ape plane gets flown into town to prevent Nova from touching Col. Brent's streptococcus and gets run out of gas.

Judy hides in her bush while aging gorillas give Conelius and Zira the shaft.

Cornelius heats his beaker and decides to cool it in two minutes.

Doctor Zaius waxes about how he's not as young as C&Z and leaves abruptly.

Hudson and Allen overheat.

Allen tells Hudson, "cap it and let's go."

Nova learns what her name means in Spanish.

Judy gets informed that she's fueled and ready for take-off.

Judy says, "Don't fail me now," flexes her thighs and pulls back the stick.

There were also soft moments.

21:30 "Attack from the Clouds" (Cartoon) 3979HT

I think this series would have been way better if it hadn't perturbed the PotA canon. If it had invented its own universe, characters, etc., it might have been given a better chance. The animation and dialog would still suck, but maybe the serial nature and imaginative wacky ideas could have been given room to breathe if they hadn't trashed a beloved franchise. Of course it would never have gotten on the air if it wasn't PotA.

For example, this episode: a gryphon. Why not.

Plus: Brent is still around. Tons of other cool unreal animals stampeding, including the rare unibuffalo.

The gryphon can stop shrieking any time now. It needs to eat something.

quote of the moment

"i guess imagination is free."

-- special K

EPOTA is being streamed

as a reminder, it's all on

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/roomzo

complete with naked audio from the viewing room.

quote of the moment

"That monster bird picked up the calf with no problem at all!"

-- Col. Brent

21:05 "Trail to the Unknown" 3979HT

I drew the lucky straw this time ... We've seen insipid after inane episode ... and then ... and then ...

I get to write the one where Colonel Brent gets found!  An event so big that when it happened Special K shouted "No way!  This is huge!  Do you know how huge this is?  It's huge!"

So Col. Brent comes back.  He's been wandering the desert just like he wandered the Mojave before he got launched.  Lands on POTA and then, oops, gets lost in a sandstorm -- without realizing there are apes there.  (He looks a lot like a hippified Race Bannon, and probably is.)

They retreat to Mesa Verde.  They blow up the only decent natural bridge in the region.  They celebrate.  They worry about apes everywhere else.

AND COL. BRENT DOESN'T DIE.

Roll credits.  Dance.

The end.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUENTIN TARANTINO ...

... from the 24HoTV duo.

(we especially liked "grindhouse" -- pay no attention to your critics)

no way!

the return of col. brent.

the ape that talks ...

... like peter lorre.

rampaging ape plane

20:40 "Screaming Wings" (Cartoon) 3979HT

A gorilla comes in on a World War II bomber. Here's the WWII flying ape.

Guest star in this ep is TOTALLY doing Peter Lorre. And last episode featured a Boris Karloff soundalike.

This is not the best animated episode. The animated series is not the best series. So this one is bad.

But the growly gorilla face painted on the front of the plane is FANTASTIC.

My left ear is hot.

I think I speak for all of us when I say...

"Release the humanoids!"

so who DOES ...

... do the the athropological dialogue research on "return to the planet
of the apes," anyway?

UPA disc 12

20:15 "River of Flames" (Cartoon) 3979HT

The line the spooky underground guy didn't say, but it sure as hell sounded like it, "Without Usa, white people have no hope."

quote of the moment

"That's no earthquake, that's a howitzer."

-- Astronaut Allen

Wanna Great Deal ...

... on your very own UPA?  Buy this one.

19:50 "Terror on Ice Mountain" (Cartoon) 3979HT

It's one of the standard PotA tropes: the ancient book that proves human were once intelligent. In this case, "A Day at the Zoo".

Zira looks to have gained about 40 pounds for this episode. She must be a method actress. Oh wait, in the next shot she's back to normal. This is highly advanced animation.

Who decided to go with "humanoids" instead of "humans" throughout this series? I want to slap that person.

They chew up a good 6 minutes ballooning through a snowstorm. That's good. That's good.

One good thing about this series is that almost every episode has some kind of cool visual -- preposterous though it may be. Zorak the sea monster, skull shooting flames out of its holes, and in this one, Kaigor the giant ape. I like it.

facial hair designs ...

... of the planet of the apes.

quote of the moment

"So this is a battle... for the entire planet, according to the title... and yet it involves a schoolbus, a motorcycle and a couple of cabs... against about three dozen apes. That's the battle for the Planet of the Apes."

-- Rich Handley

Observation of the Moment

Special K has noted that by watching 3, 4, 5, then the TV, then the cartoons, that we are actually crossing through a psychological Forbidden Zone relative to the viewing of the original "Planet of the Apes."

19:25 "Lagoon of Peril" (Cartoon) 3979HT

Nova has taken to speaking Japanese -- at least it sure as hell sounds to me like she says, "Ohio, ohio" -- and there's no way she's a Devo fan.

General Irko actually refers to "The Planet of the Apes in a Speech." 

A ray gun catches rocks on fire.

Some of the wheels don't turn on the cars.

A sea creature that looks like Zorak.

How much do I have to endure?  How much exactly?

This just in

My brain is feeling rather melty, in a pleasant way. More things are funny than usual.

quote of the moment

"you better be more afraid of me than you are of ... of ... nothing."

-- general irko/fred flintstone

return to the blurry title tags ...

... of "return to the planet of the apes."

19:00 "Tunnel of Fear" (Cartoon) 3979HT

I'm still getting used to this whole apes-with-technology thing. Apes in rain hats. Apes on TV. It's a madhouse!

GIANT SPIDER FTW!!!! MOVES REALLY REALLY SLOWLY!

I'm not liking it as much as before but it still has hypnotically weird and slow moments, like Cornelius and the astronauts spending about an hour talking about which way they should go to get to the hidden valley. I'd head for the salad dressing section if I were them. Ba-da-bing!

Pretty thrilling waterfall menace scene.

I beep. I boop.

Ape on a phone.

18:35 "The Unearthly Prophecy" (Cartoon) 3979HT

It's here that we see the animated version of the underworld nutballs.

It originally was called "A Date with Judy," but I think they changed that title once they realized that Judy is often drawn with one eye bigger than another.

"Prepare the chair."  A chair of doom is run by a Capuchin monk with a garbage can on his head.  (His pals can shoot rays from their eyes.)

There's tons of crazy sounds in this series.  When he's this tired, Special K spends more time beeping and booping than he does talking.  Thank God he's asleep.  (I may have heard him mumble, "Craydore is draining my energy" just before he dropped away.)

"There's no other choice, for now, but we'll be back!"

18:10 "Escape from Ape City" (Cartoon) 3979HT

This is really really bad. I would be sad if I were involved in its making. And yet, I'm having fun with it. I think it's simply so bad it's good. Certain things make no sense. It's like the show is written by Martians trying to approximate what Earth people want to watch. For example, there's a bunch of orangs and instead of saying "hear, hear", they all just keep saying "hear" over and over again.

Good things include:

- It's a serial: ep 2 starts where ep 1 left off. I assume this will continue.

Mixed things include:

- It essentially throws out the PotA canon. Timeline is wrong, ape & human capabilities are wrong, but that also gives it a novel "flash-sideways" quality that smells fresh. Apes with technology.

Bad things include:

- Bad bad bad animation. Writing. Acting. Chrissake.
- Dumbed down plots and dialog so it's safe for Saturday morning.
- Slow pacing. The first ep seriously could have been done in about 3 minutes.
- No Roddy.

Let's see what I think after 5 hours of this.

piranha

the *other* official drink of EPOTA.

BART logos ...

... of the future past ... took this during the TV series but blogger
was forcing captchas from cell phones, i'm only just now free to post
it.

Flintsone ...

... meet Fred Flintstone.

No ...

... this isn't Johnny Quest.

quote of the moment

"I spoke because I can speak."

-- Hudson

17:45 "Flames of Doom" (Cartoon) 3979HT

Rich Handley described this series as best being enjoyed with a Pepto Bismol smoothie.

I'd be hating it, except Special K is loving this.  He likes the pacing and the weirdness.

It's hard to believe that cartoons can under-act, but they can.  To steal an idea of Special K's, "It's like Johnny Quest on pot."  With Fred Flinstone as the head bad ape.

It would be exactly like the Planet of the Apes if the humans didn't talk, the apes didn't live in modern buildings and things actually moved.

I nearly threw my back out vigorously dancing to the ending credits.

17:15 "Up Above the World So High" (TV Series) 3085HT

Early on B1 noticed the passing resemblance of our astronauts to Starsky and Hutch. That's funny.

You know what would have been really cool? If they had been able to bring the story to some dramatic conclusion at the end of the run.

I have added TONS of respect for Roddy McDowall after watching this far.

Directing technique used a lot in the series: start with medium shot, then zoom in fast.

Recent eps have included weird "woo" synthesizer effect in the score. I wanted to tell you that personally.

Goodbye, Planet of the Apes TV series. I will miss you, but not a lot.

16:50 "Up Above the World So High" (TV Series) 3085HT

It's the last episode of the TV series.

In the opening scene, a human is hang gliding. That's pretty provocative. Our heroes don't react quite as strongly as I would have imagined they would.

Just once it would be hilarious to hear an ape say something like "Oh, a human was flying? Yeah, I can believe that. Let's go help him out."

16:25 "The Liberator" (TV Series) 3085HT

The dude-in-the-sand-people-costume-makes-runaway-die scene was way freaky and awesome. Weird music, weirdest costume, bizarre dialog. Loved it.

Jennifer Ashley is the babe-of-the-moment in this episode. Her career was short and exploited. But then she did her own talk show and her own clothing line. So go Jennifer!

Ben Andrews is the male guest star who looks a lot like Mark Hamill in this ep. Hint: you might not want to search for Ben Andrews images with SafeSearch off. Or you might want to. Depending.

"Your god wears a gas mask. Your god is a gas mask."

This one is pretty entertaining. There's even a mystery and a bit of a twist (although I think I just spoiled it).

John Ireland is our super classic guest star du jour.

16:00 "The Liberator" (TV Series) 3085HT

This is the episode of the POTA TV series that may or may not have been shown on TV originally.  The 'net types always claim this is one of the better episodes, but look at the competition.

The lead human actress here was in Barn of the Naked Dead

I'm takin' another nap.

UPA disc 10

15:30 "The Cure" (TV Series) 3085HT

We're definitely moving along the quality scale now, the only thing I can't figure out is whether it's toward "better" or "worse."

So let's see, we have:
  • Sondra Locke, pre Clint Eastwood, has some sexual version of malaria (and is shot mostly in soft focus, looking vaguely elfin).
  • The weirdest costumes so far in the form of anti-mosquito outfits that look like the way Klansmen would if they were costumed by George Lucas.
  • Albino mosquitoes, that we never actually see.  (It's not clear if Sondra Locke qualifies in this category).
  • Non-albino mosquitoes that are animated on the screen, but show up on top of the actors that you see.
  • Chinchona trees to make quinine that are actually eucalyptus.
  • The POTA theme is starting to sound suspiciously like Mission Impossible.  (Lalo Schifrin wrote both.)
You be the judge.

Suttonhoo's brilliant observation

Suttonhoo writes:

"If I had your stamina I'd want to watch the entirety to see if they speak out as strongly for women's equality as they do for racial equality.

I'm guessing not."

Exactly so.

15:05 "The Cure" (TV Series) 3085HT

Here we have Sondra Locke, in her pre-Clint Eastwood days. She's looking very very thin.

Here's IMDB's synopsis. I can do no better:

"Virdon and Burke race to concoct a cure, to save villagers stricken with malaria, with the aid of an ape doctor. They must do this before Urko implements his own version of a cure, by burning down the entire village with everyone in it."

Told in flashback. Actually uses the ripply screen effect later popularized (ridiculed) by Wayne's World.

PotA TV show rule: 1. Astronaut explains something logically. 2a. Orangutan says it's heresy. or 2b. Gorilla says it's treason. Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong.

Observation of the Moment

Special K noticed that most characters in the POTA have names that sound like rejected Marx brothers ... He's suggesting one be called "Clarpo."

14:40 "The Tyrant" (TV Series) 3085HT

The two lead gorillas are super chummy in this one. I'd like to see them when they're drunk.

So far this ep has less action than the average one. Not good for those who, like me, are just popping back out of sleep.

Nice camera shot with a giant candle in the foreground and two gorillas conspiring in the background.

Galen is super bitchy here. "You. Do not impress me. Atall."

This ep is super duper slow. It might be good, but I'm unable to concentrate to know for sure. (I don't think it's good.) I think the director said "Lights! Camera! Sit there."

Oh hey! There's a quick little fight! "Let's tie him up and put 'im in the brush." So much tying up in PotA.

Galen is wearing a bizarre highway-cone-orange* bib.

*Color named by B1-66er.

And there was a really weird bomb and it didn't explode. MY color is unhappy.

14:15 "The Tyrant" (TV Series) 3085HT

I need the Grumbler here to tell me why this episode is called "The Tyrant."  We've had apes shooting humans, humans stealing grain, prefects being re-assigned, old pals of Galen's giving big hugs, and gorillas wearing uniforms that look suspiciously like Michael Jackson outfits from the 70's.

But no tyrants, nor things that are tyrant-like.

Hmm.

Whatever happened to the PotA TV series?

"The show never garnered enough in the way of ratings to secure its position, losing the battle -- and badly -- to the NBC powerhouse combination of the time, 'Sanford and Son' an 'Chico and the Man'."

13:50 "The Interrogation" (TV Series) 3085HT

Every episode of the Planet of the Apes TV series tastes a tiny bit like the Flinstones. 

Even those that have Roddy McDowell in ape drag.

13:25 "The Interrogation" (TV Series) 3085HT

We've been asked the key question of EPOTA: "How can you wash the brain if you don't take it out of the skull?"

Coversation of the Moment

Galen: "They'll be expecting us!  They'll be setting traps!"

Virdon: "I know.  We'll avoid them."

Trivium of the Moment

Special K has stayed in Beverley Garland's (Wanda of this POTA episode) hotel.

{He's about ready to pass out ... it's gonna be just me for awhile.}

13:00 "The Horse Race" (TV Series) 3085HT

With the exception of 24HoTV, I watch very little TV; but I've noticed a modern TV formula that the POTA series is missing ...

Most TV modern TV shows use to intertwined story lines ... So say a kid wants to pass his driver's ed test and the next door neighbor is trying to score a date with the mailman ... These two plot lines will helically weave their way back-and-forth as the show progresses.

On the POTA series it's just one line ... and (part) of the result is things go very slowly.

This one was pretty good, though considering the competition.  Tiger scorpions, apes cheating at horse races.  Urko going nuts.  A fair amount of high-speed shooting.

Special K has developed an affinity for the series while I slept.  While b1 was a away, the K psychological mouse did play.

13:00 "The Horse Race" (TV Series) 3085HT

The plot of this one is a little harder to follow. Like we're back with the ape dude who needed a male cow to be born. Not as straightforward as the ape KKK episode.

Virdon is going to ride a horse in a race. I'm not super compelled at this point.

Richard Devon and Morgan Woodward are yet two more guest stars with tons of TV credits, especially westerns. TV used to be loaded with westerns in the last '50s and '60s, kids.

Burke: "Now you're getting warm." Galen: "Warm? I don't feel the slightest bit warm." Suddenly, Galen doesn't speak perfect 20th century idiomatic English.

Super jumpy tiger scorpion on a string.

Burke with like his 17th flying kick of the series. He must love those.

UPA disc 8

12:35 "The Horse Race" (TV Series) 3085HT

The one thing about the TV series that never grows old is the repeating hunting horn theme (used in several different ways) in the soundtrack.

Rather than review the first half of the show straight out, let's use the characters' own dialog, to get that oh-so-fitting feel.

"I won't be so easy on you if you ever were to lie to me again!"

"The tiger scorpion never stings if you don't move!"

"I have sympathy for humans when they behave themselves and know their place."


And with this, I'm back in the game.

We're on disc 9, TV series disc 3

And B1-66er is back and better than ever.

12:10 "The Deception" (TV Series) 3085HT

Whoa, inter-species love. Fauna the blind ape girl is in love with our man Burke. It will not be consummated: this is mid-70s TV. But again, kudos for going there.

From "Planet of the Apes Revisited":



"Makeup tests of a half-ape, half-human were made but ultimately discarded."

The ape KKK members wear creepy hoods. As they must. How not fun it must have been to wear the ape makeup plus a frickin' hood.

BTW this episode has grown stronger and I'm liking it more. Or maybe that's the coffee talking.

Whoa! Fauna falls into the sea! Rescued by humans! Will the ape KKK love them now? YES! JOY!

Sophie the dog


I woke her up momentarily to take this picture.

Random observation of the moment

I like living here in the future, where my DVD remote uses Bluetooth. Except when the dog steps on it.

11:45 "The Deception" (TV Series) 3085HT

For some reason I love the imagery, oft-repeated in this series, of apes riding horses on the beach. Do not judge me.

Oh, but they're nasty apes burning down human huts. I am sad. Galen asks "Why? Why?" Apropos of nothing, The Kinks' "Ape Man" starts playing in my head. I'm sure it will stay for awhile.

This ep is a thin metaphor for the KKK, the kind of thing Star Trek used to do so well. I'll credit the PotA movies and TV series with at least daring to go to interesting places.

Watching all these in a row reveals the frequent reuse of sets.

This one's kind of draggy again. Fauna is a bit of a drag. I don't want to dis her too much, though, because she tragically lost both her father and her sight. It would be bad karma.

Galen is so cool. He comes up with a different fake name every episode. What a character. This time he's infiltrating the ape KKK.

Snack time

I carry on solo at this point

And B1 does the same for me when necessary.

11:20 "The Surgeon" (TV Series) 3085HT

"Now, this won't hurt." "Ow!" Liar.

Like 2 minutes after telling the Girl With No Name that he won't let anyone hurt her, Burke is manhandling her. Calm down, Burke.

"She killed him with her evil blood!" I like when our astronauts are forces for wiping out superstition, like in this episode. Go, science!

Roddy is extra excellent in this ep., except for the apparently makeup-based slurred speech. Or maybe he's playing a character, because he's impersonating a surgeon? Probably not.

The episodes are getting better, or I'm getting more used to them. Or my brain is melting.

10:50 "The Surgeon" (TV Series) 3085HT

Looks like we might have a little romance for Galen. 'bout time! Virdon is sick and Galen just happens to know a brilliant surgeon, who is also a beautiful female and his ex-fiancee.

Quick but good ape-human fight that ends with a rifle butt to the gorilla's stomach.

This episode features lots of smokey candles. I don't know of any particular reason why. It must be SYMBOLIC.

There is a girl in the human quarters who has NO NAME. She should meet Clint Eastwood.

Galen and his ex are plotting to steal a forbidden book on human anatomy. I think I used to peek at that book myself when I was a kid.

Roddy's dialog is a little sloshy and slurred for some reason. It feels like his appliance is loose. I guess it's too late to fix it in post.

"All of us are required to discipline the girl. It's our duty." Riiight.

Caesar is raised up

10:25 "Tomorrow's Tide" (TV Series) 3085HT

Our astronauts are shirtless again, along with lots of other men. I'm guessing it was an attempt to up the beefcake and increase the ratings. I'm guessing it didn't work.

Whoa. Fire on the lake.

Sharks! And some nifty underwater scenes.

Roscoe Lee Browne as an ape.

AWESOME GIANT GONG RINGING.

That one was more fun than usual.

And B1 has stretched out for a little rest.

10:00 "Tomorrow's Tide" (TV Series) 3085HT

Slave fishing camp run by apes.

Reasoning here is done the old fashioned way, "We'll let the fire decide," meaning you swim underwater while it's flaming ... naturally.

I'm starting to slide.

09:35 "The Legacy" (TV Series) 3085HT

A young, and future, Freddy Krueger gets mad at apes and rats on them.

The brain institute is found in a grafitti-less Oakland (that's how you know this is fiction).

A human impossibly beats up a gorilla.

And, once again, things move slow. 

My childhood hatred of this series has returned.

Trivia

Trivia for John Lormer, who played the scientist projected on video in this episode:

Played two different, completely unrelated "Star Trek" (1966) characters who were murdered by the despotic computers that oversaw their societies for trying to reveal key information to Captain Kirk, Spock and Dr. McCoy: Tamar in "Return of the Archons" and an unnamed old man in "For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky".

Portrayed one other character in "Star Trek" (1966). In the series' original pilot starring Jeffrey Hunter as Capt. Christopher Pike, Jon Lormer portrayed Dr. Theodore Haskins, one of the "survivors" projected by the Talosians on the planet Talos IV. So in total, he was on the show 3 times, not twice, although it was an un-aired pilot.


(from here)

09:10 The Legacy (TV series) 3085HT

We're getting Jackie Earle Haley in this one! (He was Rorschach, one of the few high points in Watchmen, and Freddy Krueger in the upcoming Nightmare on Elm Street remake). He appeared on The Partridge Family in the same year as this episode.

This one takes place in Oakland. It's of a piece with the previous one in San Francisco. Looks like the same set, though.

There's another dog running around. OK, I'm gonna personally do a retcon here. Let's say a research company was experimenting on dogs when the plagues hit, and they kept some of them around in an airtight lab. And then after the plagues, they got loose and bred. And so we still have dogs on the planet in 3085. Yippee! Woof!

Another standard element to this show: gorillas show up and ruin everything.

There's Jackie Earle Haley. He was about 13 when this was made.

Perspective: Roddy McDowall made 4 Apes movies and 14 TV episodes in about 6 years.

08:40 The Good Seeds (TV series) 3085HT

I'm getting the hang of this series. They come to town. Something happens. They get threatened. They get away.

This episode has a mean grumpy ape and Virdon and Burke with their shirts off.

Cows.

When the cow is dying, you toll the bell. This episode is on drugs.

And twin bulls are born! So cute and wet and gross!

We haven't seen a lot of apes laughing, and now I know why: it's not the best demonstration of the makeup.

50 minutes of these TV episodes feels longer than 90 minutes of the movies.

08:10 "The Good Seeds" (TV Series) 3085HT

Another dragger.

We've got apes that are obsessed with strange laws and theories, Special K believes they are Jewish (yes, he is).

A little "massah" talk from the ANSAnauts that have been taken in as slaves.

Spooky.

quote of the moment

gorilla: "we're looking for escaped, bonded slaves.  have you seen any?"

chimp: "human?"

gorilla: "of course human, what else?"

quote of the moment

"i'm beat.  i don't care if this farmer doesn't have a daughter."

-- col. virdon

quote of the moment

"don't worry about it, i always make tourniquets for my friends."

-- burke

quote of the moment

"galen can't keep up.  his tail's dragging."

-- burke

07:50 The Trap (TV series) 3085HT

Grindingly slow series.

Earthquakes and aftershocks.

Urko takes a fall and gets electrocuted in an old BART station with a crazy logo.

Galen whimpers occasionally.

And a really old zoo poster gets torn up.

07:30 The Trap (TV series) 3085HT

The apes have invented the optical telegraph. It's the Victorian internet.

Earthquake!

All these humans have awfully clean hair for primitives.

Special K ...

... is now dozing.

quote of the moment

"i always assume a human is lying -- makes things easier."

-- general urko

07:00 The Gladiators (TV series) 3085HT

I swear the stunts in this stunt-heavy episode were coordinated by World Wrestling. Flying kicks, the People's elbow, everything. No divas though.

The TV series makes the movies look extra-good.

This episode features a buff dude who was in the original V series.

It's getting a little Rocky Horror in here. Prefect: "You say you're from another time." Room response: "Yeah. Dinnertime."

"Tell your friends I have never met them." Wouldn't they know that already?

I'm tired.

quote of the moment

"i don't understand you now, and i never will, but that doesn't mean people should put you in a cage."

-- tolar

Special K ...

... is starting to show a bit of the burn.

Good thing we only have 41 hours left.

conversation of the moment

prefect: "do you know my fondest wish?"

galen: "no."

06:30 The Gladiators (TV series) 3085HT

The apes houses are marked suspiciously as men's and women's restrooms.

These shows certainly aren't moving as fast as the movies.

06:10 Escape from Tomorrow (TV series) 3085HT

What we essentially have here is Starsky and Hutch with no car, and having said that, it's much better than I remember.

Mark Lenard car act superbly well behind a mask.  The spaceship is just the right amount of cheese.

Fancy hand grenades blow up a lot of stuff.  Chimps and humans become pals as they go on the run. 

Royal Dano DIES goddammit.

And then hose damn dirty apes blew up the spaceship with horses!

Friday, March 26, 2010

05:40 Escape from Tomorrow (TV) 3085HT

TV series, woohoo! I know I watched this occasionally, but I don't remember a thing about it. Stylistically it looks and sounds like the original movie. Good choice.

Wait, how is there a dog? Is that to be explained? According to Timeline of the Planet of the Apes, no. It's just a massive continuity error that was never explained or retconned.

Two other giant continuity errors: humans are talking and shouldn't be, and New York is shown in a book as un-destroyed in 2503.

"No bones broken. I checked." Oh yes?

Wow! Super duper western actor Royal Dano as an old man who befriends the astronauts.

quote of the moment

"we landed somewhere."

-- col. alan virdon

next up

disc 7 of UPA. first look at the POTA TV series.

5:20 Battle for the Planet of the Apes 2020HT

This was a bad movie.

But it has many redeeming points, such as:

* Incredibly good shooting by big cannons by the mutants/bad guys.

* Bad guys are always shot with bat-angle camera work underground.

* Spray foam insulation on cars to make them look melted.

* Pre Road Warrior school buses and attitude.

* 'Plosions.  More than one.

* Guns that, when shot, make the actors near them wince.

* A Paul Williams that looks more like Paul Williams as an orangutan than he does like a person in real life.

* John Huston as a script reader that actually isn't in the movie at all.

* John Landis as the afro guy in the middle of the pen.

All of which means, you can't hate it.

05:00 Battle for the Planet of the Apes 2020HT

Keith is asking too many logical questions. "Why didn't the mutants come out of the city 30 years ago?" It's like he's watching Lost.

Casting fun:

Natalie Trundy reprises her 3rd different role in her 4th ape movie. Being the producer's wife has its benefits.

France Nuyen, the mutant lieutenant, was Elaan of Troyius in the classic Star Trek episode of that name.

B1 hears Aldo and notes that it's Claude Akins. Movin' On, indeed.

And of course, John Huston as the Lawgiver.

Severn Darden is crazy as Tyler Durden's father.

More shit is blowing up in this movie than in all the others combined. Battle, indeed.

I have just a hint of tiredness.

John Landis was an actor in Battle for the Planet of the Apes

John Landis, from http://www.andyfilm.com/landis.html :

Well there were quite a few humans in that one, actually! The best experience I had in that movie was when we were at the Malibu Ranch, the Fox ranch which is now a public park. It’s where they made “M*A*S*H,” with the spectacular Malibu canyons.

Anyway, we’re at the Ranch and it’s hot, and these guys would get in their Ape make-up and be in it all day. So you’d never really know them as anything but apes!

I was sitting there having lunch with this guy who I’ll never forget was reading this book -- it was “Catch 22" in a paperback. He was an orangutan and he didn’t speak much. So we had lunch, and when lunch was finished, the assistant director comes over to this orangutan and says, “Mr. Huston, we’re ready for you now”!

And I was like, “WAS THAT JOHN HUSTON??” (laughs). And I remember thinking, “Holy Shit!!” I actually got to know him well quite a bit later, but then it was then it quite something. I’d say “I just had lunch with John Huston and I didn’t know it!” (laughs)

04:40 Battle for the Planet of the Apes 2020HT

It's disturbing to hear Claude Akins voice come out of an ape suit.

04:20 Battle for the Planet of the Apes 2020HT

Thank God for Roddy McDowall.

Virgil might be a more convincing nerd if he wasn't Paul Williams.

I like how the city people act somewhat looney. Must be because they're RADIOACTIVE.

So all this time I thought Conquest took place in LA (because Escape did, and because it was filmed in Century City). But apparently it was actually New York. Right? Or not necessarily?

Wow, I had actually forgotten that Battle includes the underground dudes. So different from how strongly I remember the first 3 movies.

So it turns out that BASTARD HASSLEIN!!!! not only had a hidden audio recorder in his cigarette case, but a hidden video recorder in the room as well. Redundancy FTW. Or retcon.

Forbidden city dwellers: why the funny hats?

Mutants attack Paul Williams as Virgil, asking "Why are there so many songs about rainbows?"

04:00 Battle of the Planet of the Apes 2020HT

After five minutes of story to this point (essentially "Previously, on the Planet of the Apes"), we're running in a big, full print.

The costumes have gone way down and we're seeing too many damn dirty kid apes.  Aside from that, I have no complaint.

All of us are waiting for John Landis (we've already seen John Huston).  God save all their souls.

dark dog ...

... the official drink of EPOTA.

03:40 Battle for the Planet of the Apes 2670HT

After the end of "Conquest", B1 found a hidden feature with about 1 minute of on-the-set footage. Thanksabunch.

Now, it's time for Battle. I remember eeeven less about this one than Conquest.

It starts with the Lawgiver (I think) doing a nifty "Previously on Planet of the Apes". A really rather long "Previously", in fact.

Keith says John Landis is in this movie! As an actor!

03:30 Conquest of the Planet of the Apes 1991HT

I've gotta tell you, I loved this movie.

Caesar loses it.  Hari Rhodes has a great slavery coversation with Caesar (the likes of which you'd definitely not even dare to write into a script today).

Ape blood, fire, raging chimpanzees, a future of concrete.  What's not to like?

My favorite Apes film that I've never seen.  So far.

quote of the moment

"there is still an ape curled up inside every man."

-- gov. breck; conquest

quote of the moment

"this will be the end of civilization and we will be ruled by a planet
of apes!"

-- gov. breck; conquest

03:00 Conquest of the Planet of the Apes 1991HT

I love how the slave apes wear the same colors as the intelligent apes will in the future: green for chimps, red for gorillas, yellow for chimps.

This ape training seems very haphazard. No wonder they were displeased.

Did they really need all these apes just to pour a pitcher of water? Man, we're all gonna be lazy by 1991!

According to "Planet of the Apes Revisited", Roddy McDowall sprained his ankle on the first day of filming. Roddy!

Hey, Gordon Jump from WKRP in Cincinnati! You're the auctioneer in Conquest of the Planet of the Apes!

The humans spend more time training the apes than they would doing these tasks themselves. Clearly it's just a power trip. You can't fool me.

Wow, the humans are way worse and creepier than I remember them being. Why, I, I, I'm rooting for the apes!

It really feels like they left out a few scenes before Caesar starts organizing the ape protests. Maybe this is better in the extended edition.

Severn Darden makes an AWESOME evil prick. He's the Dr. Hasslein among lots of evil humans.

a caesar-eye view ...

... of EPOTA.

2 more caesars

02:40 Conquest of the Planet of the Apes 1991HT

We're into the next flick now ...

I've definitely never seen the start of Conquest.  The futurama look of Century City works well in the this-is-what-the-future-will-look-like-in-the-past sort of way.

The lights in the conditioning chamber are super-groovy.

I'm loving the futurama-ness of it ... I'm hating on the apes a little bit ... We're clearly cutting budget.

02:20 Conquest of the Planet of the Apes 1991HT

The in memoriam statue of rover is SO SAD. B1 is laughing. STOP LAUGHING.

Unlike Escape, I remember almost nothing of Conquest. I wonder if I'll like it.

quote of the moment

"SLAVES
ARE
SCABS"

-- protest poster, "conquest of the planet of the apes"

hail caesars

2 of 'em, poorly shot.

opinion in from suttonhoo

From: suttohoo
To: b1-66er
Subject: phone died
Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2010 22:01:32 -0500

and then I got busy with the meatloaf.*

just called to wish you well on your endurance trial -- good luck.
looking forward to this. glad you guys are focusing on a single theme
-- promises to be a lot more interesting than the scattershot approach
which worked year one, but was a little less interesting in year two.

*mixed up buffalo with pork: not bad.

now playing

disc 5, "conquest of the planet of the apes"

02:00 Escape Easter Egg

Hidden in the special menu.  Lots of shots of them setting up Armando's circus.  Shots of the internals of a Panavision camera. 

The director looks suspiciously like Lech Valenza.

Fun!



Special K calls it, "our first boring thing of the night."  Adding, "now I see why they hid this."

01:50 Escape from the Planet of the Apes 1973HT

As the commission decides to abort Zira's baby and "humanely" sterilize them, the apes make their escape. This movie moves fast! Too bad about killing that orderly, though.

"Goodnight, Charlie." And the fun stuff in this movie is pretty much over.

HASSLEINNNNN!

How long was Zira pregnant for anyway?

Prediction: this is not going to end well. (I'm from the future. I know things.)

According to Leonard Nimoy's second book "I AM Spock", Ricardo Montalban used his own actual chest in Star Trek II.

Tender scene of the baby swap with Heloise. Of course, when I saw this movie as a kid, I didn't realize they were doing the baby swap. Now? Still probably wouldn't.

B1-66er spots Mulholland Drive as a shooting location.

Eric "Hasslein" Braeden: "I enjoyed working on the Apes film. Plus, I didn't have to put on one of those damn masks." Fucker.

Hasslein, lying to the last. "I've been empowered by the commission to take care of your baby."

YES! DIE, HASSLEIN!

Nearly 40 years later, I am moved all over again.

And we love the Apes font.

01:20 Escape from the Planet of the Apes 1973HT

In Apes films of 1973, interrogation techniques are roughly equivalent to the real-world 2010.  They administer sodium pentathol and when Zira is asked what number comes before four she says "two."

Great!  It's time to get some hardcore answers to serious questions ...

And all overseen by that crypto-nazi Hasslein.

He'd be a big fan of water-boarding, I'm sure.

quote of the moment

"could a sheepdog cook?"

-- cornelius

quote of the moment

"man destroys man, apes do not destroy apes."

-- cornelius

01:00 Escape from the Planet of the Apes 1973HT

I am loving Escape far more than I imagined. I find, to my surprise, that I remember every scene and much of the dialog. I remember that Kim Hunter and Roddy McDowall were the first adult actors I really loved. Even though I never saw their faces.

The moviemakers really got a chance to stretch out and be funny in this one, especially here in the first half, and they succeeded wildly. I'm literally laughing out loud a lot.

Dr. Hasslein just explained infinite regression. "A picture of the artist painting a picture of the artist painting a picture". One of my favorite scenes in the entire series. I UNDERSTOOD before Hasslein started, and then he confused me.

Hasslein says "Mr. Bond" just like a Bond villain would.

Zira: "We saw the Earth melt!" And it was narrated by Paul Frees -- so you know it really happened!

Ooh, Hasslein. You bastard! Hate you! Even though you are Dr. Forbin.

Even at the time I thought it was a bad idea to take Cornelius to a fight.

Pregnant Zira drinks wine, AKA grape juice plus. HASSLEIN!!! DAMMIT! YOU SUCK!

00:40 Escape from the Planet of the Apes 1973HT

We see Sal Mineo's last role -- and accordingly, animals charge and rampage as he dies.

This particular print is damn good -- so much so that the problems with make-up are readily apparent.

Special K and the person-who-will-never-be-mentioned were talking during the first line of Escape, meaning that I missed the opening line of the whole deal ...

Here's to hoping it's the worst thing that happens to me in the next 48 hours.

quote of the moment

"you can tell it's the past because the president is white."

-- special K

00:20 Escape from the Planet of the Apes 1973HT

At last, we're in. I've been waiting for this for DAYS. Liberty I has splashed down, and our beloved chimp doctors are in cages. Lots of cages in PotA. In honor of the apes eating oranges, B1 is also having an orange.

Oh man, this is going to be fun.

first up

disc 4 of UPA
escape

It's about to begin

Hold on to your ape makeup.

EPOTA is streaming live

Want the MST3k experience of The Entirety of the Planet of the Apes?  Tune in here:

www.Ustream.tv/channel/roomzo

Over-exposed and under-pixellated, you'll get the full brain-bake experience, complete with ambient audio from the room.

Sure, we could stream a DVD direct, but why bother when you have roomzo?

Preamble to EPOTA

In 20 minutes, it begins.  Another dip into the marathon TV-viewing well, but this time, it's viewing of our choosing ... that is if you count every single fricken thing in UPA as our choice.

I'm up for this one in a big way ... more than I have been for the previous incarnations of 24HoTV.  Partially for the raw exhilaration and strangeness of it all, and part of it because I've never actually seen all the POTA movies ... I know I've seen 1 three times.  I've seen 2 a couple of times.  I've seen the "good" ending of 4 (I only watch TV when I travel -- there was some special on when I was fly fishing in WY), although I don't think I've seen the rest of the film.  I'm pretty sure I've never seen 5.

Before I bought UPA, I didn't know the cartoons even existed; and I thought the series was bad enough when I was a kid that I watched it twice and then swore it off.

Once again, I'm in league with Special K.  This go 'round I'm in the best physical shape I've been in for any of the 24HoTVs, and I'm pretty sure the K is tied for his worst.  I've never stayed awake through an entire 24HoTV and I'm sure I won't here ... I'm guessing I'll sleep for no more than 4 hours in the next two days -- if you're of the betting persuasion, you should guess that Special K will sleep more than six.

UPA has the extended version of Battle, but not of Conquest.  We've decided that, with a couple of tiny exceptions, we're going to run out of the box exclusively.

For better or worse in two days I'll know more about POTA than I've never known in my life.

Here's to simian relations.

The Book is here

my view from the EPOTA seat

campbell, CA

So close you can taste the bananas

30 minutes until start time.

Definitions Used in Entirety of the Planet of the Apes Write-ups

I'm sure we'll be using short-hand notation over the next several hours -- especially as the collective 24HoTV brain melts over time --  the following key will hopefully help make sense of it all.

1 (Movie) -- Planet of the Apes; the original movie from 1968

2 (Movie) -- Beneath the Planet of the Apes

3 (Movie) -- Escape from the Planet of the Apes

4 (Movie) -- Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

5 (Movie) -- Battle for the Planet of the Apes

6 (Movie) -- Planet of the Apes; 2001

24HoTV -- 24 hours of TV.  A term used to describe two marathon TV viewing sessions in February 2006 and March 2009 as well as the general concept of watching TV endlessly.  Underlying 24HoTV are two philosophical standards: contempt for the media being viewed and having fun while you do it.  The 24HoTV team of Special K and b1-66er believe the most important element of the 24HoTV experience is not the watching itself, but the 'blog that is left afterward.  Like a bathtub ring, the 24HoTV 'blog is a reminder of the great experience that's already passed.

b1-66er -- 'blogger, and along with Special K an equal member of the 24HoTV duo

battle -- Battle for the Planet of the Apes

Bigg Knasty (aka Biggy) -- 24HoTV deep-insider, son of Special K; will be in Las Vegas, NV during the EPOTA weekend

beneath -- Beneath the Planet of the Apes

cartoons -- the animated series "Return to the Planet of the Apes;" 13 episodes, originally aired in 1975

conquest -- Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

dsz -- business guy; 24HoTV deep-insider

ECO -- Earth Chronological Order; the ordering of POTA events from the Earth's point-of-view as opposed to the way they were released to the public as movies as shows. In ECO, the films occur 3, 4, 5, 1, 2, 6.  To determine ECO we use the stunning Handley Timeline.

EPOTA -- The Entirety of the Planet of the Apes, a special 24HoTV event starting at 18:00 Pacific Time Friday, March 26, 2010 and running approximately 48 hours.  The goal of EPOTA is to watch the UPA DVD boxset in one sitting; 'blogging the event every 20 minutes here, along with occasional updates to Twitter using the #EPOTA hashtag.  The 24HoTV Website will be renamed to "The Entirety of the Planet for the Apes" during the EPOTA event and will revert back to 24HoTV at the conclusion of the UPA viewing.

escape -- Escape from the Planet of the Apes


Handley Timeline -- our term for the massive Timeline of the Planet of the Apes: The Definitive Chronology (Volume 1).  A chronology of everything that happens within the POTA universe.

HT -- Handley Time.  An abbreviation we use to determine the dates within the POTA world.  These are all based on Rich Handley's superb book, Timeline of the Planet of the Apes: The Definitive Chronology (Volume 1). In theory, you could think of this as AD/BCE (e.g. this year is 2010 AD or 2010 BCE) but there are items that have been interpolated out of  necessity by Rich, so we use HT partly for correctness and partly as an homage to his hard work.  In other words, in our writing on this 'blog we would think of this year as being 2010 HT.

Jewnior K -- pseudonym of Bigg Knasty

Momma K -- Special K's wife and mother of Bigg Knasty and Small Person K; saint

Monkey World -- the novel by Pierre Bouelle that the film "Planet of the Apes" is based on

Paul Frees -- voiceover actor of the 20th century and a favorite of Special K; he voices over the end of the world in Beneath.

POTA -- planet of the apes

Rich -- Rich Handley.  The author of the stupendous Timeline of the Planet of the Apes: The Definitive Chronology (Volume 1)

Small Person K -- daughter of Momma and Special K, sister of Bigg Knasty

Solid Goldstein (aka Solid G) -- college roommate of b1-66er, cousin to Special K and 24HoTV deep insider

Special K -- 'blogger, and along with b1-66er an equal member of the 24HoTV duo.  24HoTV always happens at his house.

suttonhoo -- 'blogger, 24HoTV deep insider

TV show/series -- Planet of the Apes TV series; 14 episodes, originally airing in 1974

UPA -- the Planet of the Apes - The Ultimate DVD Collection.  Contains the six movies, 13 cartoons, 14 episodes of the TV series and approximately 24 hours of DVD extras.  The goal of EPOTA is to watch the UPA boxset in one continuous sitting.

Ustream -- the live video streaming service at Ustream.tv.  Live streaming of EPOTA can be found at http://www.ustream.tv/channel/roomzo complete with an audio feed from the 24HoTV headquarters.  The end result is something an even-lower budget Mystery Science Theater 3000-like effect.