Saturday, April 08, 2017

24HoTV 24:00 - extras

(we're terminating here -not our original plan- and restarting after the new release of TP)

"postcards from twin peaks"

excellent interviews with cast members ... what stands out is how "normal" they all look ... only major briggs really looks like his character without make-up.

the one armed man
laura palmer
sahara palmer
major briggs
bobby briggs
shelley johnson
norma jennings

fabulous

#24HoTP

24HoTP 24:00

We go out on special features: more interviews with cast members, including Richard Beymer, Madchen Amick, Sheryl Lee, Miguel Ferrer, and others. The best part about these is they're casually sitting at their homes, not made up, not dressed up, speaking like regular people, on home video cameras. It's pretty cool, and a soft way to go out from our incomplete run.

24HoTP 23:45

Kyle MacLachlan tells the story of meeting Dino DiLaurentis when he was auditioning for Dune. Dino asked him "How old you are?" and he said "23". Dino said "OK". And the rest is MMMM SHAI HULUUUUD.

24HoTP 23:30 extras "postcards from twin peaks"

interview with richard baymer about traveling through the amazon ... he has several days of beard, his hair's not done and no makeup ... if it was happening -and i didn't know who it was- i'd think it looked and sounded sort of like the guy who played ben horne on twin peaks.

interesting story about doing hallucinogens with medicine men of the region.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 23:15

This episode ended with a mask. Like a Phantom of the Opera mask, with no person attached. Therefore I would say Twin Peaks is actually Phantom of the Opera. Thank you, I'll be here all week.

24HoTP 23:00

donna's breaking down over james's new-found jaguar wench trying to break him down.

agent rosenfield thinks sheriff truman is weakened by his breaking girlfriend.

agent cooper wants a break by playing a stronger chess game against earle.

gimme a break.

24HoTP 22:45

I don't even know what's going on anymore. B said something like "You just provide your retinas and say 'Filler up!'" Or maybe I said that. This doesn't matter. I just had my first unwanted sleep of the event. I was out for maybe 10 minutes and I couldn't stay awake even if I wanted to. And I wanted to.

24HoTP 22:30

leo meets windham earle (an evil guy i'm supposed to care about, but don't).  james hooks back up with donna.

but we have to blur TV with reality, don't we?

K's dog starts howling incessantly (and high pitched).  and the most albinic goddamn possum i've ever seen is crawling not 20 feet from me.

you tell me how good all this is.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 22:15

Ben Horne is now a civil war reenactment cultist. Or, more correctly, he's lost his mind and thinks he's directing the Confederate Army. Jerry Horne has returned to help his brother, and Audrey's around too. No kissing in this episode so far, after much kissing in the previous episode.

24HoTP 22:00

great episode if you like classic cars and james hurley brooding.  not much if you're interested in anything else.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 21:45

For many episodes, the scariest thing Twin Peaks held over us was the prospect of Leo Johnson regaining his senses. And now he has! As I write this, he's apparently all fine and dandy and has escaped his paralysis as he stalks poor Shelley around the house. And now he's got the sock-o-soap ready so entirely uh oh.

24HoTP 21:30

james hurley's hitting on the fourth woman of this series ... that brooding james dean look serves him well.  (it may also be what makes him handy with a car.)

agent bryson just assisted in the take down of a group of baddies, with a gun strapped between her legs.  if you know what i mean.

24HoTP 21:15

I hate to just keep dumping on season 2, but it's not really entertaining. I don't understand why, because I look at the names of all the creative people and they're very good (from what I know). Maybe they phoned it in? Or were out of ideas. Or something wasn't working. Or David Lynch drifted off and the rest couldn't hold it together. Because the new characters are not interesting, the interaction is awkward, the plot isn't gripping. There are still awesome moments, though. And the music remains fantastic.

24HoTP 21:00

i cheated.  instead of watching the last 15 minutes of #24HoTP, i was writing the solution to our stuttering problem.

however, one of the fundamental edicts of 24HoTV is you control the TV, it doesn't control you.  so it's okay to miss.

i can tell you i saw major briggs and implied spaceships.  he was jabbering something about project bluebook (although whatever the hell was going on on the TV wasn't nearly as good as that cool TV series from when i was a kid).

and leo was drooling food.

the end.

24HoTV speech therapy

exactly the opposite of what you'd think, there's a certain clarity of thought that comes with brain lesions steeped in extreme fatigue ...

i have an answer to our stutter ... 

there's a new twin peaks coming out ... part of the reason we're doing #24HoTV is as prep for that event ...

but...

the K and i both planned on watching the new season through after it comes out anyway ... so if we stop this binge at noon today ... then re-start after the SHOtime series has completely aired ... we can dovetail all this old stuff into the new stuff ... and just run 24HoNewNOld in a few weeks.

and that, at the risk of self aggrandizement, is a good idea.

details coming.

24HoTP 20:45

Major Briggs comes home! But you know something is wrong because he has STUBBLE OMG! Mama Briggs: "Is everything all right?" Major Briggs: "No. Not exactly." I must hand it to Major Briggs for always bringing the honesty. Respect.

stutter coming!

so...

when special K added up the timing of all DVD contents for #24HoTP, he forgot to add the extras ...

so...

24HoTP is interfering with the sharks game tonight.  And that's unacceptable for momma K.

so...

something's going to be rescheduled/changed.

err.

24HoTP 20:30

twin peaks has gone well beyond the shark.  josie packard has been reduced to the maid of the martel house.  agent cooper is talking about chess moves in a way that i should really care about them.  which i don't.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 20:15

Andrew Packard - owner of the mill, died before the first episode - turns out whoa DIDN'T DIE but is in fact alive and well and living behind some secret wall in Twin Peaks. And apparently in league with his sister Catherine Martell, and against his, er, widow, or wife, Josie Packard. In Twin Peaks, living people become dead, and dead people become alive. It's just the craziest thing. We're 20 hours in and I'm feeling crispy.

24HoTP 20:00

mostly phone recordings from an old twin peaks phone number you can call ... the image you see, is, literally, a micro cassette tape (not even moving).

uh, okay.  i guess.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 19:45

Special feature: How to Talk in the Red Room. This is set up to be excellent. The actual Man from Another Place, Michael Anderson, is teaching us how to reverse speak. BUT! They never actually reverse his speech so we can hear what it sounds like! Therefore, I say FAILURE. Or maybe I say ROOYLIAF.

24HoTP 19:30 - extras

(just finished my second sleep)

this is "return to twin peaks" a fan doumentary of a fest.  people throwing tibetian rocks at bottles.  a woman who is complete with maddy death blood.  and an andy with a loop of scotch tape on his head.

that's what i wake up to, today.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 19:15

Watching special features now. "Return to Twin Peaks" about the fan conventions every year in Snoqualmie. Cosplay, people from the show, etc. If this is your sort of thing, this will be your sort of thing.

24HoTP 19:00

Ben thinks he still owns One-Eyed Jack's. But he's informed there's been a hostile takeover. This is not going to make him happy!

#24HoTP 18:45

and in walks ...

agent mulder.  before he was agent mulder.  the cross-dressing agent denise bryson.

yes.

24HoTP 18:30

Oh boy, do I agree with what B said in the last post. Without the centerpiece of Laura Palmer's murder mystery, the show is drifting. And now, we have aliens. In this next episode we're going to get David Duchovny's crossdresser to distract us. Let's see how that goes.

24HoTP 16:15

and now we have the BIG twin peaks problem...laura palmer's killer has been identified (which i said, 25 years ago, was a mistake in the series ... and now the story line is wandering.

agent cooper being called for review of procedure?

the non-dead renault tinkering with illicit businesses?

major briggs talking about the "white lodge"?

please.  i don't see the compelling story line here.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 18:00

Twin Peaks has now resolved every last tiny bit of the "who killed Laura Palmer" mystery. What's going to happen now? I think Cooper's old partner Window Earle is going to have a lot to do with it, and I'm not sure how satisfactory that's going to be. But here it comes! Pretty soon!

24HoTP 17:45

Which puts us here:

Leland's dead
Laura's dead
Maddy's dead
Teresa Banks is dead
Jacques Renault's dead
Bernard Resault's dead
Harold Smith's dead
Emory's dead

And Nadene is afraid boys might be able to look up her dress in the reflection of her shoes.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 17:30

Leland Palmer with the long, slow, painful confession to the murders of Laura and Maddie. He's dying on the jailhouse floor, sprinklers spraying water everywhere, while Cooper guides him into the light. It's a great, tragic moment. He dies; the sprinklers stop. Incredible scene.

24HoTP 17:15

We're assembling a group of people in an wayside bar where cooper is convinced that the murderer is present.

And the giant returns the ring he borrowed in the second (not as cool) dream!

And Laura can be heard in the cool dream!  "My father killed me!"

And now my time to evaluate the episode is done!

24HoTP 17:00

"Laura and I had the same dream."
"That's impossible!"
"Yes it is!"
Twin Peaks rolls on.

24HoTP 16:45

maddie's dead!  wrapped in plastic!  does this madness never end?  does sheryl lee never play a character than isn't killed by leland palmer?

#24HoTP

24HoTP 16:30

Welp, Ben Horne just got charged with the murder of Laura Palmer. Except Cooper doesn't think he did it. And we, the audience, know he didn't do it. But Sheriff Truman thinks he did it, so he's arrested. Oh, this won't end well.

24HoTP 16:15

norma's mom shows up at the diner ... with a new husband!

we're rolling toward the big finish with how-to-deal-with-laura's-murderer (who by now, is clearly leland).  things aren't getting happier in the peaks.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 16:00

We're back from the land of special features into mainstream episodes. Leland Palmer is busy trying to forget that he sometimes turns into Killer Bob. Mostly he's dancing around and being too happy. Leland, you're freaking me out. Knock it off, you monster.

24HoTP 15:45 deleted scenes and outtakes disc 4

miscellaneous odds and ends ... nearly always with deleted scenes, there's a reason they made the cutting room floor ... no exceptions here ... the best one is an outtake with lucy and andy talking about a power outage at a gathering they were at, with andy ultimately saying, "and i would deliver your baby in front of god and everybody."  but it's hard to imagine how it would have fit in.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 15:30

Julee Cruise vanishes. The Giant appears. "It is happening again," he tells us. And then Bob / Leland kills Maddie in one of most brutal, hard to watch scenes ever anywhere. Worse than anything in a horror movie or A Clockwork Orange, broadcast in prime time over the air on network TV in 1990.

24HoTP 15:15

ben horne has just been arrested.  the members of 24 hour enterprises are tired -and unfocused- enough that neither of us know why.

and just to be clear, the TV, right in front of our faces, just spent the last 15 minutes telling us.

#24HoTV

24HoTP 15:00

One of my favorite rules here at 24 Hours Enterprises (yes, we have rules) is that we keep a running clock: we never stop the show even when somebody has to sleep or go do bio things or whatever. That's great. If you miss part of the show, that's just tough. We don't rewind. And we're already doing this for something like 30 hours. If we stopped and started all the time, we'd be here until New Year's. So hooray for not stopping!

24HoTP 14:45

the one-armed man is channeling mike...there's nothing quite as disturbing in twin peaks (which is pretty much disturbing at ever wall) than seeing philip gerard thrash about in pain and self-torment.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 14:30

Gordon Cole (David Lynch himself) announces that Albert Rosenfield will not be back. I wonder why that is. Did Miguel Ferrer get another job? Or did he decide he didn't want to come back? He was so good on this show that I would think they'd want him back. Also, trivia! Miguel Ferrer was George Clooney's first cousin. Whoa!

24HoTP 14:15

agent cole (david lynch) is on the scene!  ongoing discussion between the K and myself as to whether or not this is a good thing...

on the up-side, he's funny and strange.

on the down-side, he doesn't act as well as the other TPers.

i'm mildly in favor.  the K is mildly against.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 14:00

We're seeing lots of owls now. As we know, the owls are not what they seem. What do they seem? OWLS! Therefore the owls are not owls. Gotcha.

Noted by B: great "I've been drugged" makeup on Audrey Horne's eyes.

And we're on lucky episode 13.

24HoTP 13:45

just awakened from my first sleep!  (and i missed van dyke parks!)  the angoraphobic is getting laura's diary stolen from him!  and agent cooper and andy are stealing back audrey from canada!?

what would have happened if i didn't fall asleep?

#24HoTP

24HoTP 13:30

Here's a surprise: the country lawyer who says poor evil damaged Leo Johnson is not mentally competent to stand trial is none other than Brian Wilson's SMiLE co-writer Van Dyke Parks. He's great, and here's what it looked like:


24HoTV 13:15

Court for Leland Palmer!  Fatigue for b1-66er!

i kinda watch, I kinda don't.

(the audio is good enough on the TV that when people knock on the windows on TV that I think they're knocking on the windows.)

24HoTP 13:00

Following up on B's post about Twin Peaks coming from a different time...this show is packed with built-in casual misogyny. Older unattractive men are matched with younger attractive women (who are mostly servile and unaccomplished). Of course, there's the strong theme of sexual harassment, abuse, and assault, and the unspoken but strong hint of incest. Hard to believe this all was on over-the-air TV in 1990. Sorry to get so heavy. But what do I know? I'm a guy watching TV for like 30 hours in a row so the heck with me.

24HoTV 12:45*

andy and lucy still haven't ironed out their problems.

the thing i realized as i was watching this is this show is a different sociological time in america ... no internet, no cell phones ... not that long ago ... just 25 years ... but so much has changed ... i realized all this when i saw a character make an ominous call from a phone booth ... when was the last time you received an ominous call from a phone booth?

*the only time signature that's also the same as the time of the day!

24HoTP 12:30

The rain is coming down pretty hard. Is the sky crying because Twin Peaks episode 10 is not all it could be? Yes, that is the case. Bad girl Audrey has been kidnapped by her father's brothel workers in Canada and they're demanding $$$$$ and Agent Cooper as ransom from Ben. 12.5 hours in and I'm not in danger of sleeping yet, but I could be at any moment. I think I'll go make some coffee.

24HoTP 12:15 - extras

several slide stills from the shooting, including the forensic slides of the bullets shot into agent cooper.

#24HoTP

Friday, April 07, 2017

24HoTP 12:00

Just finished "A Slice of Lynch", and it was a great slice of pie. B said "It was everything and it was nothing at the same time." The hour flew by.

24HoTP extras -- "a slice of lynch"

still on the extra documentary.

lynch has a habit of waggling the fingers in his right hand when trying to explain how things work or are moving along ... right this second, lynch is talking about how his favorite part of twin peaks is the red room and the backward masked sound track.

everyone clearly thinks of it as being an extremely special moment of television.

24HoTP 11:30

More "A Slice of Lynch" with this nice conversation between Lynch, 2 actors, and a production supervisor. Lynch guides the whole thing, and the pace and vibe are exactly like one of his movies. Slow, thoughtful, in depth.

24HoTP 11:15 -- extras "a slice of lynch"

a one hour documentary that's slapped on disc 3 ...

absoultely fabulous.  the actress who plays shelly (lynch calls her magkin), kyle M (who lynch calls "kale") and a production assistant from blue velvet who hasn't talked at all yet.

it's clear all the participants have a huge amount of respect for david lynch.  the lighting is harsh, but adds more (sorta) hyper-realism.

they're talking about auditions and the movie biz.  everyone clearly likes each other, with lynch throwing in the occasional "wow!"

i'll get to write it again before it's done ... and there'll be more, then.

24HoTP 11:00

The show has gotten full-on sloppy now. I'm gonna try very hard to hang onto the good bits because we have only about 20 more episodes to go.

24HoTP 10:45

lucy has a new pal who's trying to move in on andy's territor, richard trumane; he's good for employee discounts on clothing (and being obnoxious), but not a whole lot else.

jean (part of the greasy renault family) is pushing drugs on audrey.

great episode except agent rosenfield jumped the shark and said he loved harry truman on a higher plane.  i'm all for suspension of disbelief, but i'm not for absurdity.

24HoTP 10:30

More signs of badness. We just learned that Albert is some kind of Zen peace disciple. We're not buying it for a second. Unfortunately, Albert has jumped the 🦈.

24HoTP 10:15

things are starting to fray.  major briggs is hinting at UFO transmissions about agent cooper ... bob is getting overlays of owl eyes on his face ... this is the way a good TV series starts to lose its mind.

24HoTP 10:00

"I'm Audrey Horne and I get what I want," she says to the guy who is tied up, upside down, blindfolded, with his toes painted, at the brothel, as she wraps the vacuum cleaner cord around his neck. Yes, this was over-the-air network TV.

24HoTP 09:45

ronnette pulaski is back to consciousness.  she hasn't had a good week.

jerry horne is a power gormand.  i love him.

24HoTP 09:30

People like to say Twin Peaks season 2 is terrible. They're wrong. Season 2 begins with a spectacular episode, starting with Cooper's encounter with the Giant and ending with Ronette Pulaski waking up and revealing horrific images of her, Laura (shown here, sorry for any nightmares), and Bob. Yes, things go south pretty soon (maybe when Lynch drifts off?), but at this point TP is still top of its game.

24HoTP 09:15

ray wise turns in the best non-dream acting of the show ... his hair's gone completely white as leland palmer ... and after dinner at doc hayward's house he encourages the pianist (alicia witt!) to play "get happy" and he manages to act perfectly as someone who's mildly wound a little too far.

perfect.

24HoTP 09:00

Deputy Andy is there mostly to get made fun of, but he does have his moments. Like when he saves Sheriff Truman with a timely gunshot. And when he stands up to Albert. Way to go, Deputy Andy!

24HoTP 08:45

the episode where we find out that ed hurley shot out nadiene's eye.  on a honey moon.  pheasant hunting.

the K is worried his dog is going to eat the coins i've dropped on the floor.  IF that's true, that's one dumb dog.

or owner.

24HoTP 08:30

Donna Hayward goes bad (you can tell by the sunglasses and the smoking).




24HoTP 08:15

leland's gone completely white.

things wrap tight from here until we find out who killed laura palmer (and you're not going to like it).

24HoTP 08:00

Start of season 2. One of my favorite scenes ever. Cooper flat on his back, belly covered in blood as the ancient room service waiter brings hot milk. Super super slooooow Lynch scene. Cooper signs the check. "Does this include a gratuity?" And then, the dream and the Giant. This scene is essential Twin Peaks. Show it to your friends. If they love it, they're in. If they hate it, let them watch something else.


24HoTP 07:45 -- Season 1 extras

Lots of good stills.  2 of my favorites here: laura palmer dead (but actually alive) and lynch with pete martell (RIP).

24HoTP 07:30

And we're done with season 1! Only 7 episodes. Now we're looking at special features before moving on to season 2.

24HoTP 07:15

Nadiene has attempted suicide (in a very pretty pink satin dress)!  jacques renault has been shot!  (he bit the bullet, baby!)

in the words of agent cooper: james, what kind of a dangerous game have you been playing?

24HoTP 07:00

Why does Nadine have an eyepatch? Why does Johnny Horne wear a native headdress? Crazy!

24HoTP 06:45

one of my favorites and one of my most hated, both here.

audrey horne ties a cherry stem with her tongue.

and jacques renault mocks laura with "bite the bullet, baby."  nothing makes you appreciate great direction like that fat bastard in super close-up.

bite the bullet, baby.  bite the bullet.

24HoTP 06:30

Audrey shows up at One-Eyed Jacks and she's blowing the interview...I mean, she's failing. Until she does the classic "tie a cherry step in a knot in your mouth" trick, and then she's hired. Classic!

24HoTP 06:15

first wave of sleepiness is starting to hit...those six hours of sleep last night don't have much staying power.

agent cooper and big ed are about ready to make a turn at one eye's jack's ... maybe that'll wake me up.

24HoTP 06:00

Shelley shot Leo, you guys. But she didn't shoot him as shooty as we all thought. And now Leo has a rifle and a scope pointed at Shelley and Bobby. So remember, kids on TV: shoot good if you're gonna shoot!

24HoTP 05:45

josie packard is gaining prominence ... how do you know?  she's being backlit with a cigarette holder.

one eyed jack's is getting ever closer...

#24HoTP

24HoTP 05:30

Big Log Lady scene. "My log saw something. Something significant." Of all the crazy characters on this show, the Log Lady is one of them.

24HoTP 5:15

norma just broke up with big ed!  audrey's threatening her new boss with sexual harassment blackmail!  james hurley's dad isn't really dead!

lordy.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 05:00

Episode 4 concludes, and the mysteries are starting to gain a bit of direction. Everybody is involved in everything! James and Donna are going to find Laura's killer! And Audrey wants to infiltrate One-Eyed Jack's. That can't be good.

24HoTP 4:45

agent cooper's shooting skills are abbreviated with his practice pattern...a smiley face on a head "with four shots into the eyes."

and james hurley is hitting on maddie.  you have your hands full, son.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 4:30

We get our first appearance - via telephone audio only - of Cooper's boss Gordon Cole, played by David Lynch. He's not quite YELLING AS LOUDLY as he will be when we see him in person in later episodes.

24HoTP 04:15

maddie's srving coffee now...but the problem here is she's going to die by leland's hand as well...

#24HoTP

24HoTP 4:00

As B points out, there is evidence that this is where Lynch started losing interest. For example, the "Bookhouse Boys" thread never plays out. Maybe he was only in it for the Little Man scene.

24HoTP 03:45

albert rosenfield flails with full force!  agent cooper warns back!  nadene feels big edhas returned from the gas farm to her heart!

the in-episode soap invitation to love has an actress that plays two different roles...and mere minutes later, sheryl lee (who is playing laura palmer), shows up playing laura's cousin maddie fergueson.

spooky!

#24HoTP

24HoTP 3:30

Cooper explains his dream to Sheriff Truman and Lucy. Of course, he doesn't actually remember who the killer is. But he does tell us about Mike and Bob. "No, a different Mike and Bobby".

24HoTP 3:15

i got lucky ... the dream episode took slightly longer to get to than i was expecting. ... which means i get to write the greatest TP episode of them all...

the cast learned to say their lines phonetically backward so when the tape was played backward, their lines would come out forward.  get it?  it has this eerie, strange ethereal quality that results in, pretty easily, the best television shown in my lifetime.

you could argue, with no disagreement from me, that twin peaks goes downhill from here.

what's odd is, shortly after this aired, special K were in the green room of AAPL's developer conference, reviewing the scene for possible play-back to the AAPL developer community.

douglas adams was also in the room.

"what kind of television do you yanks watch?"

"we watch stuff like this.  and stranger.  why?  what kind of TV do you limeys watch?"

24HoTP 3:00

Nadine Hurley probably would have invented an entirely silent drape runner, if BIG ED HADN'T STEPPED ON IT!!!

24HoTP 2:45

Leo is rising to his meanest potential...but that's not what's important... we're right on the very edge of the best twin peaks episode ever created ... the legendary backward speaking "little person."

unfortunately the K gets that.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 2:30

Most of the musical score is the same few wonderful pieces repeated a lot. The "tragedy theme", the "love theme", the "tension theme". But Sarah Palmer gets her own special super dissonant "I'm insane with anguish" music.

24HoTP 2:15

"It's like a policeman's dream!"

#24HoTP

24HoTP 2:00

One of the many things that makes Twin Peaks amazing is the characters and their connections. Everybody is somebody's sister, father, uncle. Everybody is in love with somebody in public and somebody else secretly. And we haven't even talked about the rampant little character quirks. Probably more on those later as we descend into hours of madness.

2hHoTP 1:45

pilot episode over ... so much stuff packed in two hours ... endless quotable moments ... the tragedy of laura's death has passed over me and i'm starting to engage the social construct.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 1:30

Every actor (almost) is well cast and gives a wonderful performance. But let's talk for a second about Sheriff Truman's reactions to goofy Dale Cooper. He's perfect: respectful, puzzled, bemused. Probably better than Cooper deserves. It works perfectly.

24HoTP 1:15

i just got my first joke that i overlooked a zillion times in watching this!

donna hayward asks to borrow her sister's bike...

harriet, "sure, put some air in the back tire."

this is an adult joke!

e.g.

"dad, can i borrow the car?"

"sure, put some gas in it."

#24HoTP

24HoTP 1:00


Ben Horne and Dr. Jacoby played together before, in West Side Story.


Also, this hot take: Agent Cooper is a little nutty.

Laura Palmer's last diary entry is about eating asparagus. And meeting "J".

I love this show. ❤️

24HoTP 00:45

dr. jacoby!  the first times i saw TP, i hadn't seen the incredble shrinking man, but i have now.  he's a star.

he also fingers his hawaiian dancing girl on his tie.

#24HoTP

24HoTP 00:30

Twin Peaks is amazing from the beginning. Yes, there's lots of very good TV now, and since TP, but nothing before or since matches the mood, casting, direction, music, and overall gut punch tragedy of Twin Peaks. And weirdness. Very, very weird weirdness.

This is going to be awesome.

"Peter, push the plug!"

24HoTP 00:15

luaura palmer is dead!  

people forget that the surrounding situation of the entire series is murder, death and what ultimately be displayed as abuse.

wailing mom on the phone.

overzealous business partners talking about lung sacks.

and leland has spit in the fireplace.

this is #24HoTP.  

it's both great and terrible to be here.

the method of view for 24HoTP

this installment of 24 hours will be viewing the entirety of "twin peaks: the entire mystery."  all discs will be watched.

we're watching all discs, then the special features at the ends of those discs as we view them.

the one exception is we're watching the alternate international pilot at the very end of the #24HoTP performance.

twitter will broadcast 
@24HoTVb for b1-66er
@24HoTVS for special K

24 hours of "Twin Peaks" starts at noon TODAY

24 Hour Enterprises isn't dead; large portions of it just have an incurable, degrading disease.

But Laura Palmer IS going to die. 

 AGAIN. 

 And 24 Hour Enterprises is covering the event non-stop beginning noon Pacific Time today.

Twins Peaks is being "continued" as a series beginning next month.  Which means #24HoTP has to happen before then.

"I have good news!  The TV show you like is going to come back in style."

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

24 hours of las vegas recap

24holv certainly was interesting.

on the plus side
  • the 20 minute intervals for flipping was perfect.  exactly the right amount of time between decisions.
  • the deuce is a natural for this kind of experiment.  a fun, easy, dependable ride.
  • both of our cell phones made the entire run on two batteries (so what if we did vampire some juice from the transit center?).
  • we beat every casino we gambled in, making this 24ho a net money winner.  huge.
  • twitter is well-suited for on-the-run work like this.
  • this was easily the most visual 24ho.
  • special K and i had the best conversations and interactions between us than we've had on any 24ho.
  • we flipped to stay on the bus 13 times and flipped to get off 12.
on the minus side
  • twitter doesn't lend itself well to longer/deeper analysis, which was mostly responsible for
  • there was very little -bordering on no- interaction between the K and myself.
  • we had far fewer followers and interest than we've had in the past.  in fact, suttonhoo and the sofa were entirely missing from the event (ultra ironic since they both consider themselves to be social media experts).
  • it felt like, maybe, i was too driven to get out, gamble, and get back on the bus.  it seems like maybe maybe we should have had more see-the-largest-gold-nugget moments.  i need to ask the K his opinion on this.
i do have to say that, on the whole, this was my favorite 24ho event.  we need to look more closely at the interaction component if we have an on-the-go-24ho in the future.  but what we had here certainly wasn't bad ... better than i would have reasonably expected.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

24holv gambling synopsis

here's the casinos and games we played.  totals include any tips that were made to dealers/cashiers along the way.

MGM
casino war
+$10

margaritaville (flamingo)
3 card poker
+$5

wynn
crazy 4 poker
+$10

encore
video blackjack
+$0.50

el cortez
craps
+$9

venetian
video keno
+$0.55 (includes a quarter found in the machine)
sports bet
+$0.60
total $0.90

monte carlo
computer assisted roulette
+$2.50

ARCO
video poker
+$0.30 (includes a quarter found on the floor)

bally's
big 6
+$1

fitzgerald's
video poker
+0.25

planet hollywood
slot machine
+$3.75

golden nugget
blackjack
+$10

4 queens
blackjack switch
+$9

cosmopolitan
virtual roulette
+$0.25

monte carlo
pai gow poker
+$7

mandalay bay
robo craps
-$21
blackjack
+$23
net $2

tropicana
blackjack
+$43

net +$114.45, including all tips.

all the more impressive when you consider that the list comprises 16 different games at 17 separate casinos.

we beat every game with the exception of the robo craps table at mandalay bay ... and the only reason we really didn't beat that was due to a shooter taking far-too-long to ultimately miss our point ... the remedy for that, was to step over to the blackjack table and play a single hand to completely cover the difference.  once we did that ...

we beat every casino.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

sports bet interaction at the venetian

the K has found a basketball game that can be bet on...loyola marymount versus santa clara .... loyola has a huge winning record versus, santa clara, an abysmal loser...

this will be our sports bet.

"hi.  what's the smallest sports bet I can make?"

"$5."

"okay I want the money line on loyola to win."

"the money line?  are you sure?  for that bet you'll only win...um....60¢.".

"yeah.  we're just trying to play winning bets at every casino.

laughs and shakes his head..."I've never taken a bet like this."

yes.  my work on this planet is done.

07:52

24HoTVS
Pretty. #24holv http://t.co/eJa8fMze
07:55
24HoTVb
flip to stay on the bus...this means we've entire strip, N -> S, 2x, without stopping. #24holv
07:57
samsalvodelli
@24HoTVb good job, Magellan #24holv
08:12
24HoTVb
coach swap. our great seats? gone. #24holv
08:12
samsalvodelli
The public wants to know, is there a restroom on the Deuce? Based on her experience in NYC, the instagator's wife says no. #24holv
08:16
24HoTVb
flip to stay on. special K "WHAT!" #24holv
08:16
24HoTVS
“@24HoTVb: coach swap. our great seats? gone. #24holv” > At least it's not Molinari Class (or was that good? I forget.)
08:17
24HoTVS
The Deuce is no Staten Island Ferry. #24holv
08:18
scottknaster
Approaching Paris. Sacre bleu! #24holv http://t.co/JD07nOVm
08:25
24HoTVb
exodus from the bus! back in front! #24holv
08:32
24HoTVb
the K is about 4" wider than the widest person you'd WANT to sit next to for 24 hours. #24holv
08:33
24HoTVb
.@samsalvodelli no bathrooms on the deuce...or at least, there damn well better not be. #24holv
08:33
24HoTVb
a plethora of southern accents on the deuce. #24holv
08:37
24HoTVb
advanced deuce strategy! one bus shields for the other in heavy traffic! #24holv
08:38
24HoTVb
flipped off at the venetian. #24holv
08:40

06:09

24HoTVb
SUPER crowded bus. we were the last 2 on. "YOU PEOPLE TAKE UP THE OPEN SPACE! DON'T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE!" #24holv
05:19
24HoTVb
"if it's in stock, we have it!" --slogan on the world's largest gift shop. #24holv
05:23
24HoTVb
1st yawn of #24holv. special K provoked it out of me.
05:30
24HoTVS
Downtown Las Vegas is similar to actual Las Vegas, but in a different way. #24holv
05:37
24HoTVb
http://t.co/pKZY0Cqq front seat view! 1st time on #24holv !
05:40
24HoTVS
Upper deck of the Deuce is made for people 4 feet high. #24holv #owmyhead http://t.co/xaYgh5VP
05:40
24HoTVb
flipped off our great seats. el cortez next. #24holv
05:43
24HoTVS
We are decadently sitting down and eating. #24holv http://t.co/X2SX63Ix
05:51
24HoTVb
food done. clock on! #24holv
06:39
24HoTVS
Large beer, please. #24holv http://t.co/vZ1R8tSG
06:48
24HoTVb
special K shoots dice for the1st time in his life....and shoots a losing roll...BUT WE'RE PLAYING DARK! +$10. tip 1. #24holv
06:48
24HoTVb
we're waiting for the next bus so we can regain our great seats. clock on pause. #24holv
06:51
24HoTVb
"WE'RE NOT LAB RATS! JUST REMEMBER THAT!" --special K #24holv
07:02
24HoTVS
“@24HoTVb: "WE'RE NOT LAB RATS! JUST REMEMBER THAT!" --special K #24holv” >> Right!
07:04
24HoTVS
It took us 4 hours to make our first round trip on the Deuce. #24holv
07:08

01:33

24HoTVS
The dude in the hat is very happy because he lives next to a McDonalds. #24holv http://t.co/R7vTgR5w
02:32

01:22

24HoTVb
I've left my free play chips at home! #24holv will have to start out of pocket!
12:16
24HoTVS
ALWAYS OPEN #24holv http://t.co/mbBXKBrl
12:20
barbaraknaster
@24HoTVS Where is this restaurant? #24holv
12:23
24HoTVS
@barbaraknaster Ar the Golden Gate Casino, downtown. If you scroll the tweet down you should see it on Google Maps. #24holv
12:28
24HoTVS
Running a little late. Enjoy this picture meanwhile. #24holv http://t.co/vaNSygRd
01:18
24HoTVS
It is, and we are, on. #24holv
01:37
24HoTVb
http://t.co/MpwQnO3t #24holv starts.
01:38
24HoTVb
#24holv my dragon bandana was bussed away from my table after eating...had to get 1 at walgreens.
01:41
24HoTVS
Now passing 9 bail bonds shops & county courthouse. #24holv http://t.co/j2Yx0WHt
01:43
24HoTVb
conversation with a hispanic mom and her 2 kids next to us, "you can't get a tattoo until you're 18. I don't care after that." #24holv
01:57
24HoTVS
The Sahara, where I stayed at age 7, is now sadly closed. #24holv http://t.co/lVBvNfEf
01:58
24HoTVb
1st coin flip...stay on the bus...K? disappointed. #24holv
01:58
24HoTVb
b1: "now that we're 1/48th of the way done, what do you think of the idea?

K: "I'm very happy." no smile.

#24holv
02:05
24HoTVb
@jacqulincanning your pic is driving @24hotvS insane...THAT'S A BOT!...OH COME ON!...IS SHE IN VEGAS? #24holv
02:13
24HoTVS
The Deuce is filling up. This is the upper level. #24holv http://t.co/NcXjQ5Um
02:22

Friday, February 24, 2012

24 hours of las vegas preamble

i remember like it was yesterday the first time i set my eyes on las vegas.  i was on the university's bowling team and there was a new year's eve tournament at the showboat ... we'd driven all night in a university van ... half of us were drunk and all but the driver and me were asleep.

day was beginning to break and by my insistence we were listening to college radio.  deteriorata was playing, and although i was intimately familiar with the poem that was being riffed, it was the first time i'd ever heard this record in my life.  at that age i couldn't sleep in a moving vehicle, so i'd been awake for the whole ride ... the fatigue crossed with the bizarre humor had me cackling like a hyena.

i woke up all but those with the very highest blood alcohol contents.

we were just crossing the northern mountain chain rim and BOOM! there it was.  las vegas.  at that very moment the radio said, "you are a fluke of the universe.  you have no right to be here."

and i was stunned.  the driver punched me.  "what the hell is wrong with you?"  (because this was before the days of social deterioration where the phrase would have been, "what the fuck is wrong with you?")

i believe there is no difference between signals from god directed at me and serendipity.  this was one or the other, it didn't matter which.  eyes fixed on downtown i said, "this is a significant event."

the whole car got real quiet because that's what you do when the sober guy starts talkin' crazy.

clocks forward.  it's more than 30 years later and i live in las vegas.  overall, i like it here ... but i really miss my friends ...

fortunately part of that is about to be temporarily fixed. 

in 24 hours special K and i begin 24 hours of las vegas.  two things are on the agenda: riding the deuce and gambling -- in that order of precedence.  originally we had talked about solely riding the deuce, but somehow the collective mind threw in gambling.

i'm a big believer that nearly every city of size has something that is paramount -- something so good, that if you only have half a day, and you can only do one thing, you should do that.  in san francisco, it's walking the golden gate bridge.  in denver, it's driving to buffalo herd overlook on I-70.  in las vegas, it's riding the deuce.

i ride the length of the strip on the deuce probably five times a year.  there's no better view of the country's second most famous skyline* than the front seat upstairs.  in fact, we may well start our journey in that spot tomorrow by waiting for the next bus.

but 24 hours is different than normal tourism ... the biggest factor is the anchor of technology.  we're doing cell phones only this go 'round, which i'm sure is right, but makes me nervous ... we've had technology problems in the 24 hour world before, and here, things could get out of hand.

i'm using an android now, which is small, tough, and has an easily changeable battery ... which is fine ... but better if the batteries i'd ordered as replacements had shown up at my house ... which they haven't.

also there's potential problem in the fact that the android is a far more immersive experience.  i'm not completely sure why this is true, but i think it's due to the fact there is no keyboard and i'm stuck in the world of swype.


RULES, SUCH AS THEY ARE
the plan is to flip a coin every 20 minutes.  if we flip off-bus, we go to the nearest casino** (no repeats, thank you) and play 'til we win, then get back on the bus.   we gamble in a window of 20 minutes.  if we win, we get back on the bus.  if after 20 minutes, we're behind, we play for 20 minutes more on a game that i consider to be more "winnable."***

there are dead spots on the ride where no casinos exist.  during those moments, we're putting the timer on "pause," restarting when we get back in gaming territory.

whenever we get "meal hungry," we'll just put the timer on pause and dine leisurely ... but that can only happen in conjunction with off-bus.


FEARS AND PROBLEMS
putting everything up on twitter is a new twist ... we'll be backing down to here in the long run (maybe even scraping-as-we go tomorrow -- i need to talk to the birdhead about that) but i've always really enjoyed the blog afterward and we won't be getting those larger "stop gap moments."  we'll see what the result is, but it's got me mildly spooked.

i haven't been sleeping well for a couple of weeks.  that could come into play.  a fundamental precept of 24 hours is it's fine to sleep ... and buses are good for that ... but you'll get rousted (quickly) in a casino if you try.


HOPES AND DREAMS
i'm thinking that we might try playing every casino game (craps, roulette, slots, keno, etc.), but the problem is there are a couple really tough games in the house.  house edge on big 6 is 11%.  keno is around 25%.  if you decide that you're just going to stand and play those things until you win, you may stand and hand over your whole wallet.  which means we'll have to take the "bigger" stance of just losing there and making it up elsewhere.


in any event, the K and i treat these events just like a christian kid thinks of xmas.  we're eager, anxious and keyed up.  we're both ready for the ride.  we were ready a week ago.

if you're ridin' along, with us, even virtually, that's swell.  #24HOLV on twitter.


*i'm not sure, but NYC has to be first, right?

** anywhere you can legally gamble counts ... there are gas stations with video poker machines here.

***you'll see.

Monday, February 20, 2012

24 Hours of Las Vegas Press Release

24 Hours of Las Vegas Announcement

After nearly a year and a half of stasis, the 24 Hour Enterprises (24HE) endurance-performance art duo of "Special K" and "b1-66er" have decided to once again push the limits of reasonable behavior with their newest project: "24 Hours of Las Vegas" (24HOLV). Beginning at roughly noon PST (20:00 GMT) on Saturday, February 25, the twosome will either be gambling or riding the Las Vegas Deuce for 24 consecutive hours. In a new wrinkle -and unlike previous 24HE events- the active repository for this event will be Twitter, using the hashtag #24HOLV.

Background
In February of 2006, 24HE was born with the intent of watching 24 hours of consecutive television, randomly changing the channel every 15 minutes. The surprisingly huge success of 24 Hours of TV (24HOTV) -especially given that the fundamental idea was based on nothing more than raw stupidity- encouraged the duo of Special K and b1-66er to move forward with other 24HE events. For an encore the twosome did 24HOTV 2 and then lept ahead with "The Entirety of the Planet of the Apes" -- a super-marathon of 48 hours where the totality of Ultimate Planet of the Apes DVD Collection was viewed. In 2010, 24HE moved off the sofa and onto mass transit for a complete day with 24 Hours of Staten Island Ferry.

Las Vegas, The 24 Hour Way
On the surface, 24HOLV may seem like a ideologically cheap and intellectually sophomoric concept -- only because it is. But digging deeper into the concept brings out the subtle wrinkles that will allow you to abhor it even more.

b1-66er puts it this way, "I don't typically watch television, so 24 Hours of TV has always felt like watching a car accident ... You want to take your eyes off it, but you can't ... And a bigger problem problem for me, the viewer, is I feel as though I'm actually in the car that's wrecking. 24 Hours of Staten Island Ferry was liberating, not only because I got to get up and move around, but also because there were quite a few more hot chicks -not to mention transit zombies- than a normal 24HE event."

 Special K views it somewhat differently. "I love mass transit. I love Las Vegas. Mass Transit in Las Vegas? That's a no-brainer" (a category for which the K is especially well-qualified).  Mr. K continues, "Lots of people pull all-nighters in Vegas, but it's nearly always for senseless hedonism and debauchery, no one ever does it specifically with misguided intent for posterity." Borrowing from "Videodrome," he adds, "24HE beats others who are technically just as clueless solely because we have a philosophy."

The Ticket, the Coin Flip and the Underlying Goal
In a city known for its come-ons, one of the least talked about deals is a ride on the Deuce -the double decker bus running the length of the Las Vegas "Strip," connecting Mandalay Bay Resort to Downtown Las Vegas. $7 gives you a 24 hour pass -- when the duo buys theirs this coming Saturday, 24HOLV officially starts. (Do note that Special K is quick to point out that in mathematical terms the Deuce is infinitely more expensive than the Staten Island Ferry, which is free.)

With a nod to the random nature of the original 24HOTV, a coin will be flipped every 20 minutes deciding nothing more than whether or not to stay on the bus. If the pair is "flipped off," they will go to the nearest casino, gamble until they win and then get back on the bus.

Using his degree in Applied Mathematics as a backstop, b1-66er puts it this way, "We don't have to win a lot, just a little. And really, you can martingale your way out of just about anything." Stealing from Citizen Kane he adds, "Winning isn't hard, if all you want to do is win a little."

Special K, however, expresses doubt. "I don't want to lose my ass on this," adding with a mumble, "believe me, I have more than a little ass to lose."

 b1-66er lays out the bigger plan. "In the 1950s sense, Vegas is all about the wise guys and the suckers. Insiders always have a line, outsiders are always trying to find it. I live in Vegas -- if I can't find the line, no one can." In complete bravado, he continues, crowing, "at the end of 24HOLV, I have every intention to have more money in my pocket than when I started ... and you better believe I'm not stopping at the ATM, nor committing a crime for money, to get more. For Saturday breakfast, we're going to have pancakes at Du-par's in the Golden Gate ... I have some promotional play-til-you-lose chips that I can use on the dice table -with no money out of my pocket- and that will be our starting stake for 24HOLV."

Special K adds with only a minor amount of hesitation, "I'm not sure what b1-66er means, but I'm sure he's right."

Twitter to the Front, Blogger to the Back
Special K talks 24HE communication philosophy. "Mobile phones are so powerful -and we're going to be running around so much- that we simply can't justify using anything else for 24HOLV. Twitter is far better suited to the mobile environment -- we'll just back the whole event off to the Web on 24hoursoftv.com when we're done." Showing where his true morals lie, Special K adds, "I'll beg for a power outlet from an $80 hooker before I schlep a laptop and a bag of batteries up and down the Strip a dozen times."

As Always, Watch or Join In
24HOLV will start on or around noon this Saturday, February 25 and run 24 hours.  On Twitter you can search for the hash tag #24HOLV, as well as following
 Special K @24HoTVS and b1-66er @24HoTVb. If you happen to be in Las Vegas and would like to partake in any portion of the event, you are certainly welcome. Call Lou Kije on 1-512-RUBY-RED (24 hours, of course) and leave a detailed message, Polterzeitgeist personnel will get back to you.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

too much TV linked to earlier death

http://www.health.com/health/article/0,,20412077,00.html

comment from special K:
Correlation is shown but not causation. This is sloppy research and
writing but it's ALWAYS done this way.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

PS

Two more things.

1. B1 is the finest creative mind to come from the outer nebulas since Krendor the Shaved. I'm thrilled he chose me to be his co-lunatic for this event.

2. We didn't tell you about one of my favorite conversations:

K: So what caused the disastrous ferry crash?

B: Bad transformer.

K: Megatron?

24:00 ft -- fin

Well, well, well.

Despite all the technological turmoil on my part, we made it. Fortuitiously, my favorite interior seats are open ... Bow seats on the bridge of a Molinari class ship.

From here I see the statue of liberty ... Since I can hear my freedom ring, I bid you adieu.

Super thanks to special K. Big big thanks to the accomplice, @girlonferry And mr. Crypto. Thanks to everyone who read, commented or tweeter.

There'll be another 24 hour enterprises event ... We just don't know when.

22:59

May I have your attention please.

Welcome to the Staten Island Ferry.

This will be my last regular report. I feel I have been remiss in telling you things about the ferry and Staten Island itself. So here goes.

The Staten Island Railway is 14 miles long. Sometimes they put the ferry on the railroad for fun.

Staten Island is home to the fourth longest boardwalk in the world.

Staten Island was the site of the first tennis court in the US.

The thing about the ferry on the railroad is made up.

In 1871 a boiler explosion aboard the Staten Island ferry boat Westfield II killed over 125 passengers.

Staten Island is the only borough in New York City that does not share a land border with another borough. Sharing is generally a good thing.

You can walk across the Bayonne Bridge from Staten Island to Bayonne, NJ. Let me know how that works out for you.

In 2010 two people rode the Staten Island Ferry 46 times in a row over a 24-hour period. They were never seen again.

Goodbye,
S.

22:25

This is maybe the busiest ferry we've been on. And yet the Barberi just swallows up the huge crowd.

Little-known fact: the Staten Island Ferry is made entirely of chickpeas.

There's a good chance we're going to complete this successfully.

For some reason, where we're sitting the ferry is sort of bouncing. First time for that.

-S

I think it's the ferry bouncing and not me.

22:15 ft

Special k may be a zombie but he caught the super-subtle trick and gains heavy NY insider cred ...

On the bridge deck of he Molinari class ships, there's a layout ... One end of the ship is labelled "staten island" the other is tAped over to say "manhattan" -- it said "new York" underneAth.

Why the change?

Staten island IS NY ... There's a fairly deep prejudice against SI by he other boroughs ... This clearly was intolerable.

I
M stunned with the condition special K is in that he caught it.

21:45 ft

Truisms of the SIF

They move an unbelievable number of people through the boarding area in a very short period of time. Impossibly short. I bet it borders on fastest possible.

There is a wide range of ferries ... From the swanky Molinari class to the ultra crappy Andrea dorea class.

A huge percentage of people on our ferries have "recircUlated" (gotten back on)- maybe as many as 15%.

SI terminal is better than manhattan.

My favorite ferry seat iS center bow on the bridge deck of a Molinari class boat.

Security truly could not care less if you ride for 24 hours straight.

I'm glad I did this. I will be glad to have done this. I will not do this again.

My feet hurt.

When in NYC, I drink Poland Spring water.

Thank you for your attention.

-Spesh

20:37 FT

Here's the thing: the Staten Island Ferry gets no respect because Staten Island gets no respect. Even the ferry itself has signs that show the "Staten Island" end of the boat and the "New York City" end, although Staten Island is part of New York City. That's just crazy!!!!

We just saw a group of orthodox Jews and B1 is trying to tell me they're not Jews, they're "Hooterz" from Montana. He must think I'm really tired. Which I am.

7 rides to go.

20:10 ft

A steady stream of people kept he new service ferry at. He dock and we made the connection. We're back on the senator mirachi, and with the exception of using the crap keyboard on this fucking iPhone, I couldn't be happier.

Special k is dangerously far gone now ... Like brain damaged scary.

One example

K, "did I tell you about my tour guides in Hungary?"

B1, "yes."

K, "what?"

B1, "yes, you told me."

K, "see! I told you I told you!"

B1, "what the hell? I just told *you* that.". No response. He's sleeping micro sleeps. "hey man! I told *you* that"

K, "what?"

B1, "about your translator."

K, "we were talking about that? -<mumbles something> did you call me 'Scott' just now?"


4 hours left. He may cronenberg by then.

In other news, we're on the hurricane deck. The ship was pulled before we could ride it before.

19:45 ft

Back on publishing schedule and I'm using k's device ...

Coming off the last ferry a short, thin black woman started singing in (very good) full on raspy gospel style ... For the life of me, I don't know what she was trying to impress on the audience as a whole, but I sure liked the sound of her voice.

SpeciAl k, in his attunement to humAnity, burbled, "she musta missed the three AM ferry."

We're riding with the biggest crowd we've seen ... The big race that all the firefighters were in is over and the crowd as a whole seems beat.

Crowded calm rules the ferry.

Coast Guard escort for us

Both sides. Big guns.

18:56 FT

I have one regret about 24 Hours of Staten Island Ferry: we won't get to see the weekday commute. This was necessary because we had to find a time when All You Can Jet intersected with when I could get away from work. Oh well.

I have fallen asleep in the middle of typey typing a bunch of times now. Three times B1 has grabbed a nearly falling iPhone from my sleeping hand.

In general neither of us can recall which terminal we're headed toward at any given moment without lots of thought and a look out the window.

The lower deck of the MV Andrew J. Barberi is almost empty. We hungrily gobble power and potato chips.

5 hours to go. Go. Go.

-Special Decay

16:25 ft

Here's the deal ... My Hiptop ate 2 consecutive posts ... The first 1 talked about the ever increasing # of people; the second, about the raw numbers of everything we've done.

If I was wide awake, I would be piSsed. Instead, I say the things that don't kill me make me stronger ... Mostly because I'm too goddamn tired to come up with anything more clever.

Special k is full-on hallucinating.

Which is a very long-winded way of saying "all is well."

16:53 FT

After a couple of very-near-misses, we're a little more cautious now about making it onto the ferry. This last trip around was like a video game, with obstacles strewn in our path. First was the kid who couldn't get the door open. Next was ---

Oh look! There's the Statue of Liberty. Again. IT DOES NOT GET OLD.

--sorry. Next was the young woman who stood lost in her own world, blocking anyone who tried to get into the ferry waiting room. Finally, we had to get past two girls who lined up a photo right across the main pedestrian thoroughfare.

We defeated them all. Because we're not done yet.

16:23

I like day. Day is good. Day is our friend.

Vignettes on the Staten Island Ferry:

Dude with guitar.
Dude with eyepatch unpacks his McDonalds breakfast.
Dock tender yells "Go Red Sox" at Yankee fans as they board.
9 Indian guys behind me talking loud.

I'm so tired. I'm in sleep free-fall. I might quit if I could. But there's nowhere to go! Hey, what are you looking at?

16:10 FT

back on the andrew B and that means *power*.

that goddamn andrea dorea practically totalled my hiptop battery *and*
in the process wiped out my 15:30 post. the verbage was shakespearen
(now lost forever), although the picture sucked. good riddance, i say.

we're full-on day timers now. kicks soccer groups. kids attitude
camps. kids enthusiasm workshops. kids hair braiding practice. and on
and on.

chatter chatter chatter. clap clap clap.

i haven't seen this much enthusiasm since that kid was selling magazines
at my door and if she got just *one* more subscription, she'd go to walt
disney world!

seriously, where the hell does all this come from this time of the
morning. it's 08:00 bloody o'clock ON A FRICKEN SUNDAY.

no wonder that guy sits over there with that iphone on muttering to
himself.

still, i'm glad we're on here ... and special K ALMOST missed it because
of the ship change ... literally last man on.

Our new pet

14:55

As the day breaks over New York City, the plaintive cry arises: "Hey guys! Help me get this guy up! He ain't movin'!"

Yes, the long night produced one more drama before it ended (the guy was OK; "All in a day's work," said the NYC cop). But now...

Cheerleaders.
Race runners.
Moms.
Dads.
Canadians.

Who let all these normal people onto our ferry? Dammit.

I can only assume they read our blog and decided to join the fun.

-Special K

I got some sleep during our 50-minute layover in Manhattan. I'm sure my flopping head provided great entertainment for my neighbors.

The riders at this hour are boringly normal. It's possible that none is an escaped convict or homicidal looney.

I'm having trouble staying awake as I type. I'll have to deal with that.

-Spaced case

13:48 PT

While we wait for the next ferry, let's discuss the origin of the name Staten Island. "Staten" is from the medical word "stat, or "quickly", and the sevenup word "en", or "un", meaning "not". "Island", of course, is derived from the English "is land". Putting it all together, we see see that "Staten Island" means "Place that is land, but getting there is not quick -- takes about 25 minutes."

-Specialist K

13:30 FT

and it's right about here that things get complicated ...

special K's device has given up the power ghost ... in moments of
extreme duress and tiredness, the K has the ability to come up with
gems; pearls of wisdom holding a clarity that his otherwise TV addled
brain is not capable of. he said:

"it's better to 'blog and not ride; than to ride and not 'blog."

the main reason he says this is that when any 24 hour enterprises event
finishes -- long after it's done, in fact -- the most important thing is
the most enduring, namely, the 'blog. the bits and pieces of what we've
written.

as i was leaving the boat i saw a power outlet tucked in an
out-of-the-way spot near the bow ... i mentioned that we could split up,
one person re-boarding and trying the outlet ... the other camping at
the terminal ... but the K is fairly sure he tried it before ... and
with our level of fatigue, that's good enough.

for the next hour we'll be camped by the 24 hour mini mart in the
manhattan ferry terminal.

13:00 ft

Our witching hour ... Traditionally the hardest thin in all 24 hour enterprise work is getting to the 12 hour mark ... Things get easier after you're over the night hump and day breaks ...

But here, we're having juice problems ... This isn't so much 24hosif as it is 24 hours of trying to find a power plug.

The corse is definitely bigger here on the 05:00 than the 04:00. We're starting to see that cross of early risers and late night nesters. For the most part people just want to see the ride over.

I'm not far away from feeling that myself ... I'm tired.

12:30 ft

We keep hoping they'll retire the ferry we're on, but that may not come soon enough ... The iPhone only has 10% left.

There's definitely q commute here ... Counters come off manhattan and are loud bordering on obnoxious ... We're seeing all the guys we weren't seeing before ... I guess they hang on longer hoping something fortunate will happen.

From the SI side, the crowds now are very small ... 65 on the lastima bota ... And they're ALL remarkably Subduded.

I Look like a genius saying the lowest ridership time would be 04:00 ... Now I'll push my luck and say it only goes up from here.

-- b1

11:57 FT



This is Alice Austen, namesake of our boat. Sorry about the lack of AC plugs, Alice. But really, get with the program.

Just when I thought the creepy crawlers had gone to bed, here's Aunt Hagatha looking through the trash.

B1 predicted the 4 AM boat would have the fewest people. So far he's right. Approximately 65 on this quiet voyage puts the lie to our previous prediction of "never fewer than hundreds".

And we're halfway done.

-Special K

11:36 FT

Your attention please. This is a Manhattan to Staten leg. And speaking of leg, these young girls returning from the clubs are wearing the shortest skirts I've seen since our last boat from Manhattan an hour ago.

I'm not seeing many wackos on recent trips. Just loud kids coming from the clubs, sleepy commuters, and. That's it. There is no third thing I'm seeing. Bite me.

Also, I slept a bit, and didn't see anything at that time.

Things I saw on the floor of the terminal waiting room just now:

A binky.
A puddle. Probably not nasty.
A NYC Metrocard.
A black bra.
A small brown bar that was probably a Baby Ruth but still might clear the terminal and anyway the Smails kid would eat it.

Typing is getting harder. Letters keep reversing themselves and going the other way.

A guy just looked right at me and said either "Hey buddy" or "Hey Scotty".

And now the club kids have quieted and are beginning to pass out.

-Spec K

11:10 ft

"fatigue" is the word of the less thAn 100 people (including crew) on this vessel.

But the people who are here are interesting ... An albino lack woman and her daughter ... A heavy-set white guy talking to a fully flames gang banger about computing ... A Chinese-mexican guy next to me who is deep deep in thought on some extremely perplexing problem -- and he's obviously making headway.

The rattle, hum and throb of the ferry creates and underlying beat that holds he pulse of this small body of people ... It keeps them together and that's a good thing ...

I think this is the calmest crowd of size I've ever been in in NY.

-- u2

Saturday, September 25, 2010

10:45 ft

It's very possible that 24hoSif has killed my battery. Some wicked combination of differing ship voltages and sporadic charging has done it in. The new ferry also doesn't seem to have any active plugs ... So we are where we are ... Using only special k's Device ... And even then with only half a charge.

My posting from 2 rides ago got et when I lost power ... I won't try to recover that now ...

Instead I'll tell you about my dream of 2 seconds from last trip ...

I walk into a bank to ask for a loan.

The end.

Short, sweet and open to interpretation.

The crowd now is the loudest per capital that we've had. Many woman in short black dresses that have to continually pull them down over their buttS in various states of drunkenness. And what's weird? No clubbing guys, or at least, none that I recognize as such:

I feel good, better than you would guess for typing on a fricken iPhone.

If we don't get live plug, we may have to sit 1 ride out ... Or something.

10:06 FT

This is how we do:

We get off the boat, because everybody has to get off. And they enforce that. Then we have to walk alllll the waaaay around and reenter the ferry terminal. And they enforce that too. This makes 24 Hours of Staten Island Ferry the most physically challenging 24 Hours event ever, by a factor of infinity.

But we decided we're glad we have to get off and walk around. Because otherwise we would just sit here. And without TV, that would suck.

For the first time, the crowd is small enough that we had to hustle to make it back on. The penalty for missing a boat is one hour in the slammer, aka the terminal.

Every single trip, I'm surprised to notice that we're already moving. I guess subconsciously I expect to hear an announcement, or feel something. But the ride is very smooth, luckily. So far.

Some dude noticed we were riding back and forth and asked me about it. I was kind of noncommittal and obnoxious to him. I was trying to figure out if he knew about 24HOSIF, but he didn't seem to, and he was serial killerly creepy enough that I didn't want him to be my little buddy. Eventually he just walked away.

And we're getting majorly into Night of the Living Dead now. Rules are ignored. Music is played out loud. People stretch out across multiple seats. And the whole shebang is just smelling worse than it used to.

B1 is asleep, like I hope to be soon.

-Spatial K

09:35 FT

Just us now. Our wise visitors have wisely departed. The Ferry has become a much smaller boat, the Alice Austen. And we curse that we are unable to find where she gives us electricity for our electro devices. Curses. Bastards.

The combination of small boat and hourly schedule combine to oh forget it.

We have an INSANE CLOWN POSSE dude.
We have a dead ringer for Grace Jones.
We have seats with scary stains.
We have no bananas today.

You get the idea. Don't you?

I wonder when my body will allow me to sleep. 2 hours sleep in the past 42 is pretty much unprecedented for me. Also it's never happened before.

Spock out.

-Special K

quote of the moment

"the ferry runs 24-hours a day, so there will ALWAYS be a ride back to
manhattan for you."

-- visitstatenisland.com propaganda flyer

(i'm reading it as i'm currently stranded in SI terminal)

08:15 FT

now in tomorrow. the hell-monster ferry has been retired so we're
waiting for the next one.

the accomplice of @redelvis has essentially gone quiet and/or comatose.
in the meantime, mr. crypto was saying that he was considering buying a
lighthouse ... for the low-low price of US$35k, he coulda bought a light
house somewhere out in the general NY harbor.

the zombie factor is starting to ramp. as we wait for the next ferry
there is one guy with a slack-jaw who is clearly muttering to himself --
the plain white t-shirt helps as a costume of bewilderment. on the boat
special K said, "things aren't getting too bad" and i pointed to a stunt
double of boris karloff's saying, "what about that guy?" and K couldn't
even respond ... "oh, oh oh! OH!"

there're two sniffer dogs in the terminal here ... i don't know what
they're looking for. one of them just piped up and the cop told it to
shut up -- making me feel ever-more secure.

there was a plaque on the wall of our last ferry to the people who lost
their lives on it (in the recent ferry accident). K *loves* the fact
that they talk about their accidents, although i'm not sure exactly
why.

i'm sure there's more to report ... right this second, i'm not sure what
it is.

-- b1

07:40 FT

the crowd is fairly lubricated with alcohol now, except for the
professor type immediately across from me who is heavily studying his
most recent copy of "recorder" magazine.

mr. crypto has joined us, which i was going to say was a "good thing,"
except right this second he's being a penis. i can't be too hard (if
you'll excuse the expression) on him, though, because i have to stay at
his place after being up for 24 hours.

the man with recorder magazine just left ... i think it was because i
said "penis" out loud.

but with smoked tuna loin sandwich and barley and mushroom soup from 2nd
ave. deli, i'm doing damn good. expect a carbo-load crash in about 90
minutes.

07:07 FT

Still a few tourists on the boat. They must be insane. Like us.

This ride is officially the "Jersey Shore Season N Tryouts". God help us.

Mr. Pukeyguts was seen staggering onto our Manhattan-bound boat, still wearing his business suit. We gave him a wide berth. Or Bertha. Whatever it takes.

The Accomplice has joined us with delicious food made in the manner of the Hebrews. We are forever grateful. Wherever did she find such food in New York City?

In front of me now are two Japanese women, 40-something, tourists. They are carrying shopping bags from The Strand Bookstore, Victoria's Secret, and Wendy's.

And if that doesn't say Staten Island Ferry, then, well, gosh.

-Special K

06:35 FT

I am an immigrant.

Staten Island is my Ellis Island. I carry with me all my belongings. The ferry is my steamship. I am excited and nervous about the new world.

Of course, almost none of this is true.

The ferry is now for the always-awake, the partygoers, and still, against all odds, at least one tour group.

And one older Asian guy puking his guts out in a trash can at the Manhattan terminal (red wine, I'm guessing).

And now: corned beef. I'm eating, I mean.

-Special K

06:05 FT

the title of this ferry is "drunk german women with heavy perfume and a
side-order of already-mostly-drunk club women"

it's a cheery place in a singing-and-laughing women sort-of place,
unless you've forgotten your german roots and then it feels mildly
suggestive or aggressive depending on your disposition.

i'm starting to feel the burn, but i've still got some run in me.

having said that, i forgot to take pictures this time, didn't i?

technical 'blog detail

special K noticed that whenever either of us use the email interface
that it always assigns it with my byline ...

for clarity's sake, we'll start signing what we write individually.

-- b1

05:35 FT

a bottle gets thrown off the boat as we enter the harbor from the
manhattan side ... special K says, "it takes a special kind of dumbass
to do that" and he's right.

we've got 'em on here now. groups of kids howling. groups of people
chanting in spanish. groups of miscellaneous people howling in spanish
and chanting in english.

our kindly day ferry has been swapped for a yellow and red seated night
monster with a third more capacity and running 1/2 as often ... if you
were from denver you'd say this is the lakeside amusement park of
ferries ... and you'd be right.

-- b1-66er

Dog without a face

I told you it was getting weird.

05:11 PT

We've descended into the slowest portion of the SIF: one boat per hour into and through the dead of night. Ah, but we have our new boat, and it's the big one: the MV Andrew J. Barberi, largest passenger ferry in the world (capacity 6000) (except B1-66er says there's one in India that seats 150,000 or so).

I think he's kidding. OR DO I???

The seats on this boat are ketchup and mustard in color. They're hard plastic and gaudy.

Not one single word of the minutes-long public address announcements are comprehensible.

I love you, Staten Island Ferry.

04:19 FT

MV Guy V. Molinari, you were good to us. But now you're sleeping for the evening, and after no fewer and no more than 7 trips across New York Harbor on you, we await a new ferry boat. And await. And await. And once it gets here, we can resume our regular programming.

03:46 FT

The sun went down and it got weirder fast. Examples:

- Crazy-haired Rorschach/Belker looking dude screaming into his cell phone.
- Women yelling in restroom line.
- People in blue Governor's Island shirts acting drunk.
- Garbage getting smellier.
- Man speaking Estonian.

I hereby raise the NOTLD quotient to 2.3. I also predict the NOTLDQ will tend to be higher on runs to Staten Island.

The number of tourists is falling fast. Into the harbor (not really).

On our 7th leg, somehow it's been the same boat every time. Thanks, Captain Criss Angel, Mindfreak.

03:05 FT

darkness falls on the SIF. from here things could, and most likely will,
get stranger.

special K is still making tons of sense, but looks bad bad. i'm
forgetting things like which side of the passage i'm on.

things to note about the bottom ride from the bow specifically:

"the most authentic ferry smell." -- special K

the best night city/water combo view.

02:40 FT

starting to see some variety in passengers on the ferry ... a younger
woman going to something like a fancy birthday party (it'd be a formal
if she was older), groups of people with the same shirts promoting
social causes.

the crowds are getting pretty big, but once you get on the ships seem
fairly open and accomodating ... i don't know how many people this
thing'll take when it's full, but it's a LOT.

the sun sets behind the statue of liberty giving @redelvis a stunning
pic for his travel 'blog.

special K has already said a couple of sharp/jabby things to me, so i
expect his writing to take a big jump forward here soon -- he claims,
and i agree, that his best work is seated in raw fatigue.

mine, on the other hand, is nearly pure decay ... and i suspect that's
why he likes me.

02:05 FT

We've been on the same boat all 4 trips so far, even though sometimes we dashed to get on and sometimes we waited. I'd like to explain how this works. But it involves quantum mechanics, fluid dynamics, and pepperoni pizza, which I don't have yet.

We have so far explored 3 decks of the ship. There's at least one more, the "hurricane deck". THAT sounds fun.

The lowest deck has the highest NOTLD* quotient. I'd say just a 1.9 right now.

By the way, when I scrambled through lower Manhattan to get here on time, I got the opportunity to be pissed off at slow-walking tourists. Just like a real New Yorker!

Guy V. Molinari is my friend.

*Night of the Living Dead.

01:40 FT

Boats sometimes make me queasy, but not the SIF (so far). Big boat, smooth water, nice ride. If you sit in the middle, you don't even know when you start or stop. A little creepy.

We've scoped out plenty of AC plugs. I don't think that's gonna be a problem.

There was a crazy guy yelling at the waiting passengers in Manhattan about how they're going to hell. But he's gone now. I guess his shift ended.

There are a few Night of the Living Dead type folks around. I wonder if there will be more at 3 AM. And if they will want to eat me.

Overheard: "You can tell he's an Albanian because he got that fuckin' nose."

It's going fast so far. So fun. So many stories to tell.

Jersey City skyline cut by sunlight

quote of the moment

"i'm beginning to think that the staten island ferry schedule is a scam
... or just a suggestion."

-- special K

00:35 FT

@redelvis's accomplice put me on the wrong train out of JFK (jaimaica
instead of howard beach), forcing me to do a couple of train switches.

and then?

the subway stop i wanted was closed.

and then?

i rode to a further stop and went to the surface.

and then?

i had to use advanced cab tricks to catch a taxi, but catch a taxi i
did. met the K and rushed to make the doors closing at 16:09 on what
must have been the 16:00 ferry (a guess).

spectacular day here ... if anything, a little warm, but we'll be
needing that later.

the ferry's big, smooth and graceful for its size. everyone on board
seems happy.

on the other end we weren't able to jump on the immediate ship back, but
that didn't stop me from buying philly pretzel bites -- or keeping the
nerdy-hot vendor from calling me "hun."

as we waited a string duo played the theme to the godfather and "puttin'
on the ritz."

high hats and arrowed collars, white spats and lots of dollars.

i type this to you on the return trip -- tapping the ferry power
outlet.

spectacular day.

from the K: "no hotdogs. spicy sausage."

00:10 FT (ferry time)

One of us took the wrong train.

Both us were routed to a subway station that's closed for repairs.

One of us is very fat and yet had to walk far on a hot day.

DID THAT STOP 24 Hours of Staten Island Ferry from starting on time, squeezing in literally as the gate was closing?

IT DID NOT.

We're here for us, and we're here for you. And we like you. A lot.