05:11 PT

We've descended into the slowest portion of the SIF: one boat per hour into and through the dead of night. Ah, but we have our new boat, and it's the big one: the MV Andrew J. Barberi, largest passenger ferry in the world (capacity 6000) (except B1-66er says there's one in India that seats 150,000 or so).

I think he's kidding. OR DO I???

The seats on this boat are ketchup and mustard in color. They're hard plastic and gaudy.

Not one single word of the minutes-long public address announcements are comprehensible.

I love you, Staten Island Ferry.