Saturday, March 27, 2010

27:00 Planet of the Apes (2001) 5021HT

Tim Burton is responsible for this remake that we'll send up seeing at least four times ... The very first thing you should ask yourself is: What has Tim Burton done and what has he done well?

Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Big Fish
Ed Wood
Edward Scissorhands
Alice in Wonderland

You get the idea.

And the very first thing that should hit you is knowing that all those stories, and certainly his best ones, are freakball stories.  They're crazy little Burton worlds, or worlds where Burton can completely take over, and POTA isn't one of them.

And casting Marky Mark Wahlberg (an actor I like quite a bit) as a lead, is a mistake.

What have we here?

Space pods that look like mouth pieces for recorders.  Helena Bonham Carter looking like Michael Jackson.  And Tim Roth deadpanning.

We also get a cameo of Charleton Heston saying "take your hands off me, you damn dirty, human" as an ape.

May the Law Giver save us all.


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