08:00 Channel 102 -- DirecTV News MIx

K: Video from six channels of news, picture-in-picture style, plus some DirecTV guy talking about something, with occasional commercials. And there's a crawl at the bottom too. This is for people with really short attention spans.

The DirecTV guy: bad news, delivered horribly.

B: I'll take news for $100 please, Alex.

Bigg Nasty: I'll take Weather Channel to block.